Gone Astray (Open]

[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Alistair looked upon this man with a growing amusement, despite that not being shown. He seemed oddly pleased at addressing him formally. He referred to everyone in that manner. Why? "Well, the aspect of humanity should not be characterized by what one may be born as. My years here have proven that I have seen far superior 'humans' among oddities rather than natural-born ones." And even in this case, Artie proved to be just that. His attack wasn't out of malice, per say. It was... What he was... Not who he was... The man who did not usually enjoy the feelings of hurting another living organism for once snapped back? Understandable. But Alistair wasn't content on just dismissing him now, no. He needed to know /more/.

The pigment absent man kept silent as he listened to Artie. Every so often he stole a glance to PJ, though as expected Alistair picked up nothing from him. A taste of fear slipped across his tongue, though he ignored this. Back to Artie, he noticed just how nervous he was to be himself. For whatever is above's sake, Alistair invited him to drink! But... He didn't. Again, that word /human/ came up once more. Alistair knew how much some oddities desired to behave like the species dominant on this planet. Even some mimicked the most specific mannerisms. "Artisan, it is alright to take sips as I am discussing with you." Alistair informed the chimera quietly. It wasn't just about his public behavior, he realized. Everything about him was dictated by self control.

And certainly Alistair knew plenty about that.

"Oh. I..." Alistair was at a loss for words. What could he say in his defense? How could he excuse his behavior when Alistair himself was guilty of preventing the coincidence of what he was made to be and who he wanted to be. How could he give him advice, or consolation? "Self control... Is not the only solution... I..."

The moment Artie mentioned something about his state of mind, Alistair's blank expression, the one containing years of pent up human emotion, broke.


His wide eyes instantly softened into bewilderment alongside the marble-like face that sprang to life. Like a child being interrogated, Alistair looked down and nodded his head. "A very, very bad man is inside me." Curls of pure white cherubic curls shielded his face as he looked downward, as if to hide himself from the world. His spirit had not yet been broken, but certainly this rarity of a question had evoked some sort of mental association. One he had rarely shared among others besides his most cherished staff members. "I am evil Artisan. I am evil." He whispered with a voice so in audible that one could dismiss it if they did not care. Alistair had his gloved hands encase the now empty glass of Artie's, though in a matter of seconds it shattered into pieces over the anxious fear Alistair had exerted upon it. "And... Scared... And hungry, so very, very hungry..."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

"No, you're not," said Artie, "You're not evil at all." Genuine puzzlement shook up his voice, and his brow furrowed in confusion. He didn't say that to make Alistair feel better, or console him, or to be polite. Artie said things because he meant them. "I know that something has to die for me to eat," he said, "But needing to eat or liking the hunt doesn't make me a bad person. I'm a bad person if I let myself starve, 'cause then I'll be violent around everyone I like."

Mankind had always wondered if canines had a sixth sense. Sometimes, Artie pinpointed emotions so well, people mistook that for his power. Artie never knew quite what to do with that knowledge, but he always tried his best. "You can tell the bad man that I'm not afraid of him," he added.

"And I can visit you every day, if you're scared," said Artie, "I'll sit right there, in front of the fire. I won't say anything either, if you don't want me to." The room was quiet except for soft breathing and the lazy thump of the chimera's tail. "I felt less scared when people visited me."

His mind flickered back to the lonelinesa and deep resentment of his identity that isolation brought upon himself. The rare moments when he had a visitor, even if it was a doctor or specialist, were some of the best memories he had. Did Alistair have those types of memories? "If you won't let me in, I promise to wait outside the door."

Artie watched light cascade off the broken glass shards; they were so pretty. Except for the closing of one eye, lest the glass blind him, Artie hadn't reacted to the shattering glass. "Until I become the person I want to be, you're my new master now. I picked you, so now I'm happy."

He smiled softly at Alistair. "I will wait with you every day."

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Why couldn't he make him see? Alistair lowered his gaze even further, feeling guilty that Artie's words of comfort didn't penetrate his emotional shell. It wasn't as simple as Artie seemed to be putting it. Alistair was a monster. By legend many believed he was evil itself. Alistair couldn't change that. Neither could he sugar coat it. Artie hadn't seen what he truly was. The timid marbled man had a premonition that the chimera's perspective of him would truly change if he saw Alistair's 'true' form.

Not only that, but Alistair was unlike Artie when it came to his starvation in the sense that abstinence allowed Alistair prudence.

With Artie's words of friendship, Alistair swallowed as to prevent the uprising of unwanted feelings. Why would he take time out of his life to visit the dull man who ran the place? Besides, it wasn't really like Alistair hated visitors, however he had grown accustomed to silent loneliness. Alistair was happy when others were happy. He knew there had been chemistry between his most highly regarded staff. They hadn't brought forth him that, but Alistair knew. And he was happy for them. Now here he was, undeservedly practically given a 'puppy' with undying loyalty. Why?

"Artisan please..." Alistair proceeded to shake his head slowly. "No, I cannot allow it." That reply compensated for everything. Alistair didn't deserve it! He really did not! For this man who had come from masters to be ruled by a coward was an insult to Artie's potential. It was more than a kind gesture, but Artie couldn't be granted this. Why did he care anyway?

While his mind was sidetracked, he glanced to see that PJ began to silently depart from the room for fear that may be eavesdropping on something important. Alistair didn't acknowledge the silent leave as he was too focused on his predicament. "Artisan, I have accepted the fact that my sole duty is to own and run the circus. I do not wish to impede on your personal life or become a waste of your time. I am undeserving of your loyalty."
The Ringmaster mumbled as he proceeded to stand up. Arms crossed in a self-hug, Alistair turned to the hearth and gazed at the oil-panting portrait of his father above it. Why didn't he tell Alistair before he departed of his curse? Why wasn't he informed of the hideous beast suspended in action within him? These questions raced through Alistair's head and made him ill. The nausea had traveled to his empty stomach, which caused his crossed arms to travel to his abdominal region.

"Artisan, I am a monster. And I do not mean in the metaphorical expression of the word. My... 'Gift' can only bring me to become something I am not. It is... Hideous... It has no conscience. I am so ashamed, so scared of myself..." Alistair seemed to choke on a sob. "I hate it. I hate it so much."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“It doesn't matter whether you allow it or not,” said Artie, smirking slightly, “I break enough rules that it doesn't make a difference.” No matter what Alistair said, the stubborn boy would find a way to show the Ringmaster his loyalty. Guards would stop him and the staff would discipline him, but Artie wouldn't give in without a fight. The chimera had selected a new master, and such a decision wasn't an easy one to undo.

Artie curled up on the chair and his smug expression evaporated. He watched Alistair's arms travel, picked up on the brokenness of his voice, and noticed the connection he had with the figure painted in the portrait. Yet, Artie didn't know what to make of it. If Lilly or Carter had been in front of him, Artie would've comforted them without words; they understood what his snuggling and nuzzling meant. But Alistair? The chimera didn't yet know whether the Ringmaster appreciated such gestures. “If you gotta hug yourself for comfort, then you need me,” he said, “Or at least somebody to keep you company.”

The isolation and seclusion was something Artie connected with, something that stirred stale emotions he'd buried deep in the back of his mind. “I'm a selfish creature,” he said, “Aveira has to remind me to not only think about myself, but do the right thing. When I hurt PJ...when I hurt PJ, I almost ran away. How selfish am I? I would've let my friend die because bringing him back wouldn't benefit me!” Ashamed, Artie looked down. “But I think I've gotten better at doing the right thing 'cause at least now, I'm able to tell right from wrong more often. Though, I still don't always choose the right thing.”

As he explained himself, Artie felt a seed of doubt enter his mind. The disadvantages of committing regular visits to Alistair outweighed the advantages – if there were any to begin with. He considered calling it off, leaving that room, and possibly leaving the circus for good. For a moment, he almost accepted Alistair's refusal. If it'd been a few weeks ago, the chimera wouldn't have cared enough to be so persistent. But now, he asked himself: What would Lily do? What would PJ do?

“I'm trying to choose the right thing, okay?” he sighed. Artie slid out of his seat and stood up, his tail flicking pensively behind him. Cautiously, he walked up to the Ringmaster and stood to the man's right. Determined, hazel eyes searched Alistair's face for acceptance. “It doesn't matter whether you're a monster or not. Letting you suffer all by yourself is wrong,” he said softly, his expression gentle, “When my punishment for hurting PJ is over...even if I'm scared, I will not leave your side.”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Morality was such a peculiar concept. Alistair thought to himself as he pulled himself in further, shielding his face away from Artie. He could not be weak. He was the ringmaster! He ruled over those who needed mediation... He wasn't a victim himself. He had his facade for a reason. He'd much prefer the stress of five thousand oddities over his own.

"Artisan please. I do not need anyone." Alistair mumbled, stepping away from him. Artie was only keeping him company to feel better about himself morally, right? He said so himself! Artie didn't really want to be with Alistair, right? No... He was trying to advance his mentality. Alistair didn't blame him for this. Maybe it would be a mental community service to assist the dusty old ringmaster in terms of company. Whatever helped Artie should help him, right?


"You were not selfish Artie... You were just... Scared..." Alistair looked away. "I did the exact same thing in much of a greater severity..." Alistair's voice had only spoken loud enough for Artie to hear. In all honesty, the 'Case of Artisan Kim and the Tragedy that Befell Mr. Umberman' wasn't the worst he's seen. Alistair had spent his entire life under the circus. Certainly there were oddities who, if looked at today, had absolutely nothing wrong with them. They were the ones that accidentally burned buildings with pyrokinesis, caused people inexplicable agony with their mental prowess, and cheated their way through life with telepathy. Yet, in an indirect fashion, Alistair helped them all out. Artie needed one thing- Time. He would learn, much more than he realized. "Artisan for having the background you do you have a strong grasp on your gift. You will learn quickly here, and those actions of selfishness will be swift to dissipate. You have already targeted the error within yourself. It will only be a matter of time before you conquer the bad and replace it with the good."

As Artie approached closer, Alistair turned from him even further. He didn't like being looked in the eyes... At least in this closeness. "If you truly desire to be my companion... I would.. Appreciate the kindness." A faint smile eased its way in his voice. He still couldn't turn around due to the shame of the audible gulp heard within his throat. "Artisan, I would like you to visit me often if it is not an inconvenience to you, however..." He finally turned around. "Do not visit me on nights of the new moon... I am... At my worst during that time."

In order to quickly change the subject, Alistair curled the corners of his mouth ever so slightly. "You are dismissed from your charges. At the next circus meeting I will require you however to come forth and state a public disclaimer upon your innocence. Paxxton-Jay will testify." Alistair's dead eyes showed a bit of grievance at the confirmation. "Is that alright with you?"

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“You mean I gotta talk in front of everybody?” asked Artie, “What...what do I have to say? What's a public disclaimer?” The chimera turned on his heel, and spun himself in anxious circles. He thought back to his childhood in the labs, where he'd repeat robotic greetings and scripts to rich benefactors and potential buyers like a mere puppet. “What happens if it's not alright? And I don't want to do it?”

Rebelliousness wasn't Artie's intention; he sounded nervous, confused, and frightened by the task Alistair presented him. But of course, the Ringmaster could probably tell that from the way Artie paced in front of him. And if that wasn't enough, the whimpering and panicked breathing should've been a key clue. “What if everyone still hates me? Or they don't believe me?” he said, “Or they throw rocks and get mad? They might shout like they did today! I-I can't do it! Whatever it is, I can't do it!”

In a flash, the chimera was curled upon the plush cushions of Alistair's office chair. He popped teddy's ear into his mouth and chewed, trying to gnaw his way out of distress. The crowd that'd gathered around PJ and Artie upon leaving the community “jail” hadn't helped to assimilate Artie back into the circus life. If anything, it'd developed Artie's firm belief of himself as a lesser being than those around him.

Realizing that his reaction was spiraling out of control, Artie struggled to calm himself. He took slow, deep breaths and focused on his surroundings. The office was somewhat like a safe haven from the rest of the circus; the flickering fire cast a soothing glow over the room and its comforting heat urged the chimera to make himself at home, the archaic books had a musty smell that dulled Artie's reaction to other sensory stimulants, the stillness of the room gave him a place to sort out his thoughts, and so forth. “I don't know about the public disclaimer,” he said slowly, quietly, “But I would still like to visit you.”

He smiled.

“I would like to visit you very much, master.”

Although still tense and shaken from Alistair's request, Artie seemed to have calmed down somewhat. “How come you know so much?” he asked suddenly, sounding more curious than anything, “How do you know I was scared? I thought running away meant...meant I was being self-centered again.”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Understandably, the chimera was frightened by the subject of public speaking. The oddities had turned against him, and now he had to win back their hearts. That was no easy feat. Of course it would perform its best in the long run. His 'punishment' was far easier than what he /should/ have given him. "A public disclaimer may not be the best term for it..." Alistair thought aloud before looking directly at him. "The task is for you to speak in front of your peers with the intention of making them understand your perspective and actions. As stated many of the oddities here are broken. If you can find a way to create a speech for us, or an explanation of your feelings, perhaps the others may create an empathetic bond with you. Not only can you potentially set things proper but you may also grow even closer to your family."

With his growing concern Alistair didn't seem to gain the slightest amount of upset. Betrayal was a nasty thing... It would take more than a public demonstration to clear that up. But safety concerns were absolutely sacred in the circus. "I will be there when you address the circus. If those other oddities so lay a malicious deed towards you there will be severe consequences. I am their authority in any case necessary." A sudden intensity struck his voice as he affirmed Artie. Far too many oddities have committed themselves to harming others. Simply put, Alistair wasn't having any of that.

It was interesting to note however that the severity in his tone had quickly liquified into melted gratitude. Alistair looked nearly bewildered with confusion pertaining to Artie's kindness. He... What? Why was Artie being so kind to him? Why did he deserve this? For once in what seemed like eons, Alistair physically gasped at the title of master. The ghastly sound was out of true surprise. He was used to formal and impersonal titles pertaining to his occupation/rank, but nothing like this. Truly, it had sparked something in the stoic man. What the action would do would soon be determined.

Alistair slowly sat down in his swivel oak chair and faced Artie. His answer to his question was plain and simple, yet it had the potential to unlock so much about him.

"Fear is what I am Artisan. It is the most understood human emotion, and yet it is prevalent in every single one."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“My mother taught me that what you are is different than who you are,” he said softly, “I think that has more meaning for you, master.” The chimera's soft eyes searched Alistair's face, although he wasn't quite sure what to look for. “Fear? Is that why...you don't want me to visit on the new moon?” asked Artie, slowly fitting the puzzle pieces together, “What happens to you?”

The 'bad man' inside Alistair reminded the chimera of the villain of a fairytale, although he couldn't place his finger on it. There had always been something unsettling about the Ringmaster that spiked Artie's defensive instincts, that warned the lab experiment of an unseen threat. However, Artie's sense of loyalty and kindness outweighed the fear radiating from the monster within Alistair. “You don't have to tell me if you don't want to,” he added.

“And...did you really mean what you said earlier? That you'll be there when I have to talk to everyone? Do you promise?” The chimera smiled and rested his elbow on the desk. As if preparing for an arm wrestling match, all fingers except Artie's pinky were clenched into a tight fist; his littlest finger pointed straight at the ceiling. “Pinky promise?”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Alistair nodded at his well-known philosophy. It might as well have been the circus' motto. Truly, outcasts of all kinds have surfaced here, and a good amount of them were a great model of what a person should be. Their physical abnormalities played no merit into the character inside of them. That was a fact. Sure, Artie acted like a dog on occasion, but the soul he possessed was carefully intertwined with that. He possessed the loyalty, optimism and innocence of a dog. Everything else was filled in with gaps of his own merit. What was wrong with that?

Well, Alistair knew he didn't handle the concept all that well. His entity was comprised of raw fear at what he was. This fear had swallowed him up so much that he had no idea who he truly was... Come to think of it, he never really developed a personality on his own. His politeness and humility was robotic: from birth to the present it had been drilled in his mind. His blank behavior was a result of his limited solution in dealing with his curse. Not only that, but emotion was unprofessional, right? He never allowed himself to be sorrowful, blissful, social, or playful. The only aspect of mentality he was allowed to keep by his curse was his rage. At the same time, that rage wasn't truly his. It was his monster's, which meant he automatically hated it. Every time he felt feelings Alistair shunned them and cursed their existence. They came in embarrassing bursts. Surely the man in the portrait above him would be horrendously ashamed.

Unfortunately, the negativity surrounding Alistair's thoughts snapped out just as Artie asked about his 'gift'. And at that moment, Alistair began to discreetly panic.

"Please, please I..." Alistair closed his eyes and inhaled to keep himself of purging denial. "I cannot tell a soul. If I told you... You would despise me." The statement was odd. Not only did it inadvertently seem like he was hinting to Artie that he should succumb to curiosity, but it also revealed Alistair's growing doubt in himself and others. "Please just trust me... I just like to be left alone."

When Alistair opened his eyes, he saw that Artie had his pinkie up... Just what did that mean? He heard faintly in his thoughts that Artie was scared that Alistair would leave him. "Artisan it is my duty to protect and serve..." Alistair trailed off as Artie's action piqued his interest. He tilted his head with the same sluggish expression, his robotic mind attempting to process what he was doing. "Of course..." He replied in a mumble, blatantly confused.

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“Do you know why I offered my loyalty to you?” he asked, “It's because a chimera's love for his master is unconditional. You'll always be my friend, and my superior too.” For Artie, the gift of loyalty was conscious decision that was impossible to take back. There were different levels of loyalty, each with their own classifications depending on the relationship and situation...the highest of which, belonged to the position of the 'master'.

“Here, you take your pinky and wrap it around mine,” he said, “That's how pinky promises work!” One hand gently guided Alistair through the motion, so that their pinkies were wrapped tightly around one another. A beaming smile brightened Artie's face, and his tail thudded against the office chairs furiously. The chimera not only presented Alistair with companionship that earned canine's the title of mankind's best friend, but also a friendship of the purest regard.

“It's safe to tell me anything – even what happens on the new moon!” he said, “Please, you can trust me enough to share. And if you tell me, I'll tell you a really, really big secret, okay? One I haven't told anyone.” The young man nodded enthusiastically, and it was clear that he wholeheartedly meant every word.

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

If Alistair's complexion possessed any melanin, it would be obvious to see that he was blushing. The ringmaster looked down, unable to grasp the word thrown at him. Love. What did that even mean? What did it feel like? Apparently, Artie felt that with him. But why? What did Alistair do to deserve it? He hadn't done much... But Artie had really devoted himself to him. A flustered mix of honor and confusion churned inside his stomach, the feeling making him sick. "I do not know what to say..." He mumbled softly, backing up slowly. This whole situation made it seem like he was diving into the deep end when he could not swim. Just give minutes ago he hadn't received love before, and now he had a man who treated him like a master. The thoughts, in all honesty, frightened him. But nonetheless these thoughts were incredibly flattering. Why wasn't Lilly Artie's master? Why not Carter? Why not PJ? No, it was the man he had met five minutes ago that was his keeper.

Honestly, Alistair couldn't complain.

He looked down to see his smallest finger interlocked with the chimera's. What did this mean?! These sort of acts of friendship were entirely foreign to him. The smile Artie had cast him nearly made him jump back, but his soul (or lack thereof) wasn't going to allow it. This is what he had always wanted. No, this is what he had always needed. Why shun it away? In almost a recordable instant, the ice frozen in his crimson stare had immediately melted. The blank stare quickly gave way to an actual facial expression. It was an awkward one, as Alistair had no clue how to comprehend what was happening to him. But a twitch of his mouth and the water bubbling at the corners of his eyes was enough to cause him to swiftly collapse to his knees, palms and face to the ground.

At the signal of his shoulders shaking, it was clear that he was now sobbing.

"Artisan... The truth is... The truth is..." His voice mumbled in a completely different tone before. He now sounded like a child being scolded for doing a bad thing. "I have inherited a curse... It controls everything I am. It is the reason I look like this... It is the reason why I am so scared of expressing myself... I told you Artisan, I am really hungry... But I cannot eat... I hurt... I hurt so many people that way... Innocent, defenseless people... And I cannot control myself... I share my body with an entirely different entity... One that has plagued many nightmares since the dawn of time itself... It was passed down by my father... And my father's father... And so many before that..." He buried his face in his hands. "It is so hideous... It is bitter, emotionless, sadistic, homicidal, vulgar... I hate it! I refuse to cave into it! It cannot come out ever again! And if I starve to death because of it, so be it! It will not hurt anyone else!" By the end of his speech Alistair was shouting. His usually placid voice rumbled in its fragility, threatening to crack at any second.

But that's what it wanted.

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[ARTISAN KIM]

Quietly, the chimera slipped from his seat and knelt beside Alistair on the floor. In a form of chimera etiquette, he kept his body close to the ground in order to pay his respects to the Ringmaster. And he listened too, he listened without interruption or judgment. When the shouting stopped, Artie launched himself forward like a spring; he hurled himself at Alistair with enough force to knock the two of them over...and his arms wrapped around Alistair in a hug. “See, master? I don't despise you.”

The chimera smiled softly, as even his natural cheerfulness was subdued by Alistair's story, and he squished his cheek against the man's shoulder. “I hope that being here is enough,” he said, “I don't know how I'll be able to help you, but you don't have to be unhappy all alone anymore.” Even strength and intelligence wouldn't override the poor man's curse, but Artie would supply as much support as he possibly could. After all, compassion was something he did best. Artie didn't realize it, be he had a way of supporting people not many could. The effects he had on Carter and Lilly were easy to see, and even Aveira had warmed up to him. How would he be able to help Alistair? If he could even help the poor man at all?

From a young age, Artie had been spoon-fed lies about his inadequacy compared to humankind and that his beastly nature needed suppression. He'd been locked away involuntarily, and taught to hate his lack of control. In his own way, the chimera understood the fears and pain Alistair felt. That's why he so desperately wanted to be there for the poor man, to give him comfort chimeras never would have the chance to experience. Suddenly, he licked Alistair on the cheek. “We won't let the bad man ruin everything, okay?”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

The very moment Artie began to cling onto him was the very moment Alistair stopped crying. Why was he doing so in the first place? He was so weak... Negativity clouded his head despite the warm embrace attempting to pull itself through his unconscious. Alistair dabbed his eyes with the back of his silk glove before he barely looked at Artie. "Thank you Artisan... Please, do not tell anybody what I had just unveiled to you."The Ringmaster muttered as he sort of eased in to the side of the chimera.

Despite all the love he was receiving, there was nothing in this world to prevent Alistair from shifting. At least now he was not alone in his actions. Never before had he possessed a friendship with anyone besides the casual socializing he kept with Aveira and Yuzki. Those two were what Alistair had referred to as his best friends. Though their moments of intimacy lacked, Alistair had entrusted them with his secret and saw them as crucial allies to both himself and the circus. Simply, he couldn't imagine life without them. Though his relationship with Artie was different. And besides the hugs and embraces, Alistair didn't know why.

All he knew was that he had to love him back.

Alistair finally took the arms from around himself and placed them around Artie. The cherub-like white curls shifted from his face so that he could see the chimera."Thank you... That is all I can ask for Artisa- Forgive me: Artie." Alistair snuggled in a bit tighter, his inner innocence shining clearly through.