A Puppy At My Heels (Alistair)

[ARTISAN KIM]

Sometimes, it was irritating how dull his master could be. Besides hunting and self-defense, there was nothing more important to Artie than understanding how to have fun and love. Just like it astounded oddities when Artie found forks too complicated for use, it astounded Artie to watch such basic things like playtime and love fly over the heads of humans. Were they all stupid or something?

“Why...not?” he asked, “Don't like teddy?” The chimera took back the bear possessively and cradled it in his arms, holding it tightly to his chest. What was wrong with his bear? Artie looked down at the toy with a perplexed frown and a furrowed brow, then looked back to Alistair. “Teach you?” he said, “I teach you. What...what does master want know about chimeras?”

Okay, maybe Artie couldn't help Alistair the way he wanted. But Artie was capable of something else, something marvelous; he couldn't care less if Alistair was a monster. From his whining to his ridiculous antics, he never spared the ringmaster an ounce of mercy. Artie wasn't impervious to fear of Alistair's transformation, but merely devoted to being by the ringmaster's side through both the good and the bad. He was, without a doubt, insistent on keeping his promise of friendship no matter the circumstances.

As Alistair moved closer, Artie lowered himself until his back was flat on the floor. He arched his back so that his stomach would stick out, just like a dog that wanted to be rubbed, and smiled. In chimera body language it meant: “We're such good friends, I'm not afraid that you'll tear out my heart or intestines!” He wriggled in place, popped the teddy-bear's ear into his mouth, and began his conquest to chew through the fabric. Yep. Excessive, slobbering puppy drool was such a lovely sight in the early hours of the morning.

His new, almost demonic eye color wasn't an unsettling shade for the classic puppy eyes. The rows of shark teeth that'd shifted back into place looked pretty safe too, as long as you stuck marshmallows over the pointy parts. Gosh, it was as if Alistair truly had his own puppy to take care of...only his puppy was a deadly weapon when it needed to be.

“Huuuuuum, whined Artie. He made a feeble, pawing motion at the back of his head and stomach. “Itchy.”

Bloody hell.

Now he was complaining about the carpets. Oh, it was going to be a long morning.

"Master...feel more good now?"

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Alistair nearly blushed in embarrassment at the fact that he was unable to properly process what he was supposed to feel with the bear. Really, the bear felt like... Nothing, actually. Why couldn't he feel the way Artie did? Wasn't he made right? Artie looked happy with it, so why couldn't he be the same? It wasn't fair! The sudden burst of emotion sent another jolt of internal soreness which caused his emotions to die back down. With the question of the faultiness of the bear Alistair shook his head no in a defeated manner. He was silent for awhile following the statement, even for the question that he was now searching the answer for. A sideways glance snuck through his deep thinking as he looked to Artie, who had begged for a belly rub. A nervous snarl-of-a-awkward-giggle escaped Alistair's lips as he hesitantly reached began to scratch. Though he stopped every few seconds to grunt or growl like a beast, he persisted to get the job done. After a few seconds he stopped, asking a small "B-better?"

Now back to his question. The little 'game' had given him time to think, and he had actually come to a solution. It was more of a request, really; one that Alistair was afraid to ask. "Artie? C-can I ask you a favor?" Would he do it? Was it just too risky/rude to ask? Alistair gulped as he began to nervously/unhealthy shake. "I want to... I wish to... Well, when you first woke me up and I scared you, you transformed into this... This creature. You can do more with yourself, correct?" Alistair inhaled softly.

"Can you... Do it again? With... Um, more?" An odd request, but one Alistair had a reason for. He needed to see something. Something for himself. A proof. Would he tell Artie? Perhaps afterwards, if he agreed. "You do not n-need to, I-I am just curious..."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“Okay, master!” he cheered, popping back up into a sitting position. The chimera giggled in delight, thinking that Alistair's request was a new type of game. Artie's beaming smile never faded once during the sound of peeling skin, tearing muscles, or snapping and resetting of bones. Cartilage rubbed together during some stages of the transformation, popping and snapping like someone was cracking their knuckles.

Watching the chimera fully transform wasn't for the fainthearted. He kept the same, puppy-ish expression even as the skin on his face tightened and pulled back. An array of deadly incisors and animal teeth crammed themselves into his mouth, poking over his lips like razor blades. During this time, his tail had elongated a little longer than his full height – but was now nothing but a hairless string of cartilage, with a deadly stinger attached to the end. His hipbones rotated back and upwards just as his legs snapped, now bent at an angle more suited for quadruped movement. “Little different each time,” he grunted, “Can't get it right.”

The final touches weren't too horrific, but were disturbing to watch all the same. His fingers elongated disproportionately to his body and ended in sharp, yellowing claws of bone. The arch in his feet grew exponentially, and the area where his toes met widened to support his new center of gravity. The arms were long too, almost like that of an ape's. And some parts of his neck decided that it'd like to be coated in an exoskeleton, but only in ugly patches. The last thing to change was his body density. Pajamas stitches tore slightly as his muscle mass was enhanced and redistributed; the change was nothing too distract, but it was odd to watch his skinny body beef up out of nowhere. Thank heavens Artie had learned – after perhaps too many 'incidents' of shifting when with Carter – that it was best to wear oversized clothes that he'd be able to fit in if he were to shift into a new beast.

The chimera was...it was so many different creatures at once. It was an unholy, grotesque thing that even a mother would have a hard time loving. It's monstrous appearance was perhaps why Miss Bianca Roberts prohibited the creature from calling her 'mama'.

Artie licked his lips and stared at Alistair, concentrating on the little man like an animal would to its prey. He growled and tensed up, causing more stitches in his clothes to come loose. The chimera bared its teeth and lunged for Alistair, knocking down the man with a snarl. His mind couldn't handle the change when it was already so fragile. The chimera cracked opens it's jaws, ready to kill, ready to tear, ready to – lick the hell out of Alistair's face?

“More?” he asked, “This game fun!” This freakish mess of animal parts still had Artie's excitable, childish voice. Then again, it was all too easy to forget that this creature was still Artie.

THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.

Even its giant tail, one that could wrap itself around a man and crush his spine, was wagging back and forth like a puppy's. Unable to contain his excitement, he went back to coating Alistair's face in a fresh sheet of doggy kisses. Artie was substantianly bigger – and therefore heavier – than his usual pipsqueak form, but Artie was having too much fun to notice if he was crushing Alistair.

Deaths in the labs due to Artie's “unrestrained acts of play” had been all too common as he grew up. After meeting Bianca and mellowing out, Artie became extra friendly with all of the staff. Only...he had to learn the hard way that his hugs could suffocate and most efforts to play whilst in a beastly form resulted in blood being strewn across the walls.

That being said, he would always be gentle with Alistair.

“Why master want see?” he asked, “Artie do good? Do good?”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

In all of his years in the captivity of the circus, Alistair had met some pretty interesting characters. Some were cute. Some were scary. Some were gut-wretchingly hideous. Never had Alistair witnessed so much of the latter in his twenty four years that wasn't his own creature. As Artie began to transform, Alistair scooted back in horror as to what he was going to do. The sound of popping bones and shifting muscle was enough to make his already agitated stomach all the more nauseated. Alistair had seen many shape shifters enter his circus, each distinguishably different from one another in a relatively 'normal' fashion. Sure, he had seen grown men shift into little bunnies and pretty girls shift into velociraptors but this... It was... It was just something, alright.

Watching the chimera go from innocent man-dog to mutated genetic mush was horrific to say the least. Still, Alistair kept silent all through the metamorphosis; as he strove to follow his request with dignity and respect for the kind-hearted chimera. Once the transformation was complete, Alistair's eyes widened as he assessed his grotesque new body. Everything about him screamed unholy, screamed dangerous.

Luckily for Alistair, he couldn't feel the terror someone sane in the mind would experience.

The Ringmaster no doubt still experienced apprehension as he approached the chimera. What would he do? Was his personality different? Was he... In control?

Well, whatever the case was, Alistair was now being bombarded with unthreatening puppy kisses.

Alistair initially blockaded his face to prevent himself from any future attacks, though that anxiety did not come to pass. His crimson eyes bore onto a sharp-toothed creature millimeters in front of his face. Despite the desire for Alistair to cherish this warm moment he soon was once more greeted with agony. Pinned to the ground wasn't the best position for him, especially considering the beast within was once more practically clawing on his insides. "Artie please be gentle I... AGH!" As Alistair rolled away with the new injury, Artie had let go. Following a few seconds used to regain himself Alistair found strength to return back to the beast. His mission was almost completed.

Alistair tip-toed over to Artie, the creature towering over the barely five-foot-and-a-half man. Alistair swallowed softly and allowed a pained faint smile to appear on his face. "Artie...?" Shakily, Alistair reached to pat his head. "You are still... You." Yes. Despite the hideous and monster kid appearance, Artie still possessed his mild innocence. The jaws that could have been used to devour him instead opened to create a lick-storm. The tail tipped with a deadly arrow was flopping like a puppy. He still appeared to be bright and happy despite all of those mutations now covering his body.

In weighing the positives with the negatives, more came out under the positive. Really, the mutations weren't all that terrible. A quick immunity seemed to be developed within Alistair, as if his appearance now was just as equal to his human form. Heck, maybe his appearance really did suit his 'beast mind' more than the other.

"I just wanted to s-see that you were still you, Artie. I just wanted to see that their is a chance in c-controlling who you are... Who I am..." Alistair neared Artie in a nearly childlike and innocent facial expression. "Do you think I can do it, too? Could I control myself?" Alistair reached up to scratch his head. "It is what I am, not who I am..." Alistair whispered to himself, unsure if Artie could hear.

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“Still me!” cheered the creature. An odd, purring noise bubbled from deep within his throat as he responded to Alistair's touch; the chimera closed his eyes in delight as he received a little pat on the head. On instinct, he rubbed the top of his head against Alistair's hand with more pressure to show his appreciation. Skin slithered as it thickened on certain parts of his body and cartilage cracked as his ears were replaced with floppy, brown wolf ears. In so many ways, Artie was like a mutt...a very peculiar mutt that needed a place to call home. “Me!” he said gleefully, puffing out his chest like it was a compliment, “Still Artie! But...”

THUD.

The furniture rattled and books feel from the shelves when Artie flopped over. The giant beast laid on its side, and its dog-like panting was ferocious enough to rattle the chandeliers. He couldn't have done much to help – heck, he couldn't even stop his new body from trying to scratch his ears with his feet. Coordination was another problem for Artie immediately after any shift; it took his body time to adjust to its new form, and this ferocious-looking mutation was no exception. He watched in amazement as his legs kicked uselessly and his hands missed their target by a few inches, then stopped before he could make a greater fool of himself. “More impulsive,” he said sheepishly.

The chimera was even blushing!

“Master...change big, too?” he asked, blinking thoughtfully at Alistair, “Like Artie? How?” Everything Artie did was against the nature of his new form. He should be a killing machine - a wild animal! What was this docile creature doing in his place? Whether he was aware of his techniques or not, Artie had a way of staying in control. Therefore, wouldn't it be possible for Alistair to study from him? “Artie want help master! But...don't know...how help master,” he said.

As he admitted to his lack of knowledge, Artie felt his ears droop and an apologetic whimper escape his throat. “Smell. Artie can smell it. Know that bad man no like Artie, but like beast,” he yawned, “He feel bad for beast – no, he laugh at beast. Beast powerful, but always listen Artie instead. Artie beast master, yes?"

He licked his lips as he forced another childish stream of words from his mouth, and did his best to explain a watered down version of his mind's innermost workings. “Beast and Artie share. Sometimes hard, but have to. Easier if we nice to each other. Beast like kill, Artie no like kill – rule only kill animals for hunting. Beast can't help it. Artie understand.”

Such few words could supply great meaning. Not only was it necessary for Artie to understand the needs and desires of his other half, but to accept them and make compromises. "Beast...beast born that way, like bad man born that way!" he explained, "But you can be master in charge. Need confidence. Need practice!"

Ugh, talking sure made him tired! It would be up to Alistair to ask the questions and prod for answers, as it took up most of the chimera's brain power to churn out a few neanderthal-like phrases. In the meantime, Artie lumbered over to Alistair's desk in search of something to drink.

With clumsy and oafish movements, Artie managed to hover above a half-finished glass of water from yesterday. At first, he tried to squish his giant face inside the tiny glass. It took him a minute of struggle to realize that method wouldn't work. So next, he tried picking up the glass with his hands. Unfortunately, he didn't have the proper coordination yet; as soon has he'd raised the glass to his lips, it shattered under the pressure of his fingers. Tears welled in Artie's eyes. Forget the shards of glass that'd bounced harmlessly off the thickened skin of his chest. Any small scratches would've healed before Alistair's eyes anyway.

He wanted something to drink! "A-a-artie is dummy," he wailed, "No can drink!" Artie sniffled and scrubbed at his eyes like a forlorn little child, rather than the hulking monster he was. “T-t-too big!” he cried, “A-artie thirsty!” Being upset didn't cause his control to weaken, for he was no more dangerous before despite his frustration. So far, Artie had shown Alistair that his behavioral changes were due to lapses in memory and whenever he sensed danger. Perhaps Alistair could take something away from those observations. Wasn't the ringmaster's control weakening because of starvation, a stress that would most likely kick Artie into survival mode as well? “Bowl? Please, master?” he sniffed, pushing his lips into a pout, “Ooooh, have cake too? Artie be good chimera!"

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Once Artie officially proved his innocence to Alistair, the ringmaster felt a great relief from his achy shoulders. Well, the idea wasn't going to end in disaster at least. Hopefully. Alistair grew silent as he tried to comrehend the situation. Artie's mindset was his, yet in a primordial version. His logic and speaking skills weren't as advanced as they would have been had he kept his usual capabilities. Then again, was that what was keeping Artie's chimera form from not becoming a true monster? A compromise? Sure, Artie hadn't vouched to act/behave this way. In fact, he was scared of himself being like this. But now he was docile. He was in control for the most part. Was that what Alistair/The boogeyman needed? Hm...

Soon, the rumbling of the room had taken him out of thought. Alistair grasped onto a nearby chair in order to steady himself from being nauseated. Fortunately, when he did manage to appear to gag, there was nothing in his stomach for him to do so on. After wiping his brow with the back of his hand, Alistair composed himself. Ugh, he felt horrendous.

"Y-yes Artie, I have a big monster within me..." He pulled his knees to his chin. "I will transform once the sun g-goes down tonight... One look of me and whoever would be my victim would never guess that I once was human." The statement was true- not an ounce of humanity could be associated with the creature. Not only physically, but emotionally as well.

Alistair sighed. Artie's advice may have worked for him, but... That risk was too difficult to take for Alistair. "I do not believe it works that way, Artie." He whispered, "It wants me to give my heart and soul to it, to trust that it will do the best for my body and for my needs." Suddenly, a fire seemed to ignite within Alistair's eyes. "But why should I trust it if it is the reason why I have to be this way in the first place?!" A sudden hiss-growl rose in his throat in a fashion that seemed like the monster within was protesting his statement. After a few, quick, short breaths he calmed his temper once more. "I am the one that is cursed, not it. I refuse to give it what it desires. It... It only hurts others in the end." Tears began to bubble at the corners of his eyes. "If that means I must suffer for eternity, so be it."

Truly, Alistair was at a stalemate with his brain. What was it that he truly desired? Though he wouldn't say, or admit to the other half of his brain, he didn't want to go on forever without eating. He wanted to eventually find a middle ground for his curse. He wanted to be able to be comfortable inside of his other body. He wanted to not have to dread the inevitable. Of course, his morality would always get in the way. If he wanted to eat, heads had to roll. Simple as that.

With Artie's request Alistair mumbled a small "Certainly.". The scenario previous to the desire was enough to slightly lighten his dampened mood, but not for very long. With a near-limp, he approached the door and opened it to face the guards outside. He whispered something faintly to them before they turned back around, which left the two alone once more.

"My monster... It... It sometimes talks to me... Whispers words inside my head..." Alistair looked down to the ground as he spoke. "It t-tells me frequently that I should be lucky. I was born at the top of the food chain. Humans are naturally my prey, and I am not one of them. It tells me I should... I should stop fighting it and accept my role as a predator..." More tears began to form, making his eyes glossy. "A-and I want to... I sort of do... I want to live the way I was destined to do so but..." Alistair turned to Artie, the confession not only giving his face a red hot blush of embarrassment, but an expression of pure innocence as well. "Does that make me a bad person?"

The knock on the door snapped him from any further looks of guilt. Putting on a professional facade he approached the door. He opened it, gratified the guards, and closed the door after retrieving the items. On the floor (as he had figured it would be easier) he placed a personal-sized pretty lemon cake. Beside it, he placed a hefty water bowl that really was intended for the kitchen to use while making food. It was shiny, reflective in its chrome surface. In it was crystal clear water. "H-here Artie... Enjoy..."

[/font]

[ARTISAN KIM]

“Master...”

Gently, the beast pressed his thumbs against the tears sliding down Alistair's cheeks.“No bad person,” he said softly, “Master, nature not always fair.” Artie looked down, as if reflecting on his own circumstances. The fates had dealt him a nasty hand; he'd been born to die, and destined to live out a dismal, pitiful existence until his euthanization. Even though he'd seemingly escaped from his fate, the past continued to catch up with him. With frequent lapses in his memory, it was only a matter of time before he devolved completely. “We no help what born as.”

He slowly lifted his soft, silver gaze until he locked eyes with Alistair. And then, the chimera gave his master a sad little smile. “But we do best we can, yes?” The creature rubbed its cheek against Alistair's face, shivering slightly at how frigid the man was. How did he not freeze to death at night? Then again, Artie's perception was off seeing how his blood temperature had regulated itself to match the warm-blooded animals he'd borrowed organs from.

The chimera peeled his cheek off of Alistair's. He rubbed noses once to keep his affection short and sweet, then finally pulled back. “What master wants?” he asked, “Artie no decide for master...” He shook his head slightly, still will wearing a knowing smile. The things Artie spoke of had been facts of his life since birth. Even if Alistair was speaking with a devolved, primordial version of his friend, Artie's words would have the same impact.

The gentle giant pressed his palm directly over Alistair's heart. “Master decide in there, and Artie follow forever.” Now, he could shed a happy smile. Even with his distorted body and features, the happy crinkling of his eyes as he smiled a toothy grin made him more human. With a face like that...well, he could be more goofy than scary. “No matter what,” he said, “So master...no cry.”

The chimera busied himself by dusting off the lint clinging to Alistair's suit from his earlier convulsing on the floor. “Humans raise animals to eat. Fatten 'em, no love 'em – animal just food to humans. Where animal purpose? Poor animals. Make Artie sad,” he explained, still brushing his hands against the suit, “Artie born...Artie born no purpose either. Would die like animal. Get killed in end.”

Artie forced himself to stop shaking at his comparison. He would...he would be brave! From this point on, he would move forward into the future no matter what form he was in! Artie squared his shoulders, swallowed nervously, and took a deep breath. “But Artie have purpose now!” he said determinedly, “Purpose at master's side!”

A booming stomach growl, like the warning of a Bengal Tiger, ended Artie's speech. The creature snorted like a bull – or perhaps more accurately, a baby dinosaur. “Big thinking make Artie hungry,”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Though Alistair had turned his back on him to allow himself a moment, it was clear the conversation was far from being over. The battered ringmaster had allowed himself a few more tears to slide down his colorless cheeks; each one caused him to mentally scold himself for his weakness as a person. When he was turned around by the chimera, his crimson eyes took on a whole new persona. Whereas they had once been nearly frozen over from the hollowness of the emotions he had shunned, now they were brimming with somber emotion. His sorrow appeared to be waking up the human heart that Alistair had buried away for so long.

With Artie's sweet words and gentle touch the bogeyman began to calm himself down. It was... Surreal to be comforted like this. As a child, he never had someone to wipe his tears or promise their support for him. Only now had he received such personal care from someone. Even if that someone had a deteriorating mind and, if the fates were to be cruel, would soon never to be able to speak or feel like a human again. Artie meant a great deal to Alistair. And with Artie's pledge for loyalty, Alistair mentally swore to himself to always look after the chimera. No matter what.

"Artie..." Alistair whispered, inhaling through his nose to prevent himself from choking a sniffle, "Th-thank you... Just, thank you... For being my best friend.". Artie's words had silenced him, had made him speechless. His simple language had carried more weight than Alistair could have ever imagined. He had someone that cared about him beyond his staff. He had a friend he had needed for twenty four years.

That alone was enough to make Alistair smile.

A soft, bright smile was present on the face previously lifeless and melancholic. It was a simple, sweet expression, one he hadn't worn in a very, very long time. "You have given me something I have always wanted. I will do whatever I can to do the same for you." Whatever it was, Alistair promised he would give it to him. It really was the least he could do. "I promise you will always have a place here."

That... Felt good. He had never felt good on one of his transforming days. He was right, company was what he needed. With the mention of food, Alistair once more gestured to Artie's fancy set up. "Please, take what you desire. You deserve it."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Seeing Alistair smile would fuel Artie with the energy to tackle anything life threw at him; as long as they were together, he could be both safe and valued. “Master, big smile!” cheered Artie, “Master happy, Artie happy!” Artie didn't have the easiest of pasts to bounce back from, but he faced every day with well-meaning intentions. Sure, he made mistakes. Sometimes he made big ones, too. But, he never stopped striving to become the human he wanted to be. He never allowed what he was born as to stand in his way.

“Cake all for Artie?” he asked, eyes widening in wonder. Artie plunked down in front of the cake like a toddler at lunch time: very hungry, but very confused. Cautiously, he tore a chunk of cake from the center with his bare hands. Then, he forced his mighty fangs to nibble on the frosting like he'd seen Alistair do the day before. He'd really been listening to Alistair's lessons, hadn't he? Heck, anything short of Artie plunging into food face-first was a miracle!

“Practice!” he said proudly, “Artie human yet? Can walk too, but not now. Legs no work human way.” The chimera pointed to his oddly bent legs which at most, could let him semi-crouch on two legs. Bipedalism would have to wait until he shifted back into his humanoid form. Thankfully, he could sit upright so long as his legs were in front of him – no kneeling or leg crossing would've been possible.

“Mmmmmpphhhhh!” he squealed, giggling in delight, “ARTIE LOVE CAKE!” Okay, so he was talking with his mouth open. Everything with the chimera was one step forward and two steps back, wasn't it? Ah, well. Baby steps, right?

Next, the chimera leaned over the giant bowl and started lapping up the water. He was completely occupied with parching his dry throat until he noticed this...thing staring back at him from the bottom of the bowl. Artie giggled at first, thinking that the creature looked incredibly stupid with its tongue sticking out in such a way. But the creature laughed back at him...and exposed rows of deadly teeth. Artie gulped. “Master...?” he said, “Thing in dish.”

Artie stuck his clawed hand into the water, and nearly jumped back as the creature reached out with its own hand. What was it? It was...it was hideous and disgusting! “Huuuuum...” he whined, retreating behind Alistair in fright, “Master! Bad thing! Scary thing!”

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Now that Artie was satisfied, Alistair had given himself some time somewhat alone to fix books and silently meditate to keep his monster at bay. He still twitched and grunted occasionally, but braving through the storm with someone else had proved to ease his burden. He admittedly didn't pay the heaviest of attention to Artie, though he did occasionally chuckle at the things he shouted to him. Alistair had just pushed in an old copy of The Lord of the Flies before that all changed at the drop of a hat.

Once Artie's cheery voice dimmed Alistair turned around. "Artie...?" Before he knew it, the poor chimera leaped over to him and was now cowering in fear at what apparently lurked... In his water dish? In silence Alistair approached the metal bowl and peered in. In it was... Absolutely nothing. Except for his face. "Artie, there is nothing in here except-"

Oh.

The ringmaster looked down to Artie and observed the beast was quite upset. Even though Alistair had already grown accustom to his new appearance, a basic relapse occurred once he tried to figure out what exactly was wrong. The creature in the bowl... Was not the charming man that had first bounded into his office. Instead, it was a horrible mutated lab experiment showing what it truly was. A monster. There were no euphemisms for it. "Artie, there is no need to be upset... It is just your reflection..." Was that the proper way to phrase it? Had he never even seen himself like this before? Alistair instantly went to search for a way to comfort him. "Artie? I asked you to transform before, remember? You can shift back... I am sorry..." Maybe Alistair's experiment should have ended awhile ago. He had no idea that Artie didn't care for what his beast truly looked like. There was mirror in his bedroom for him to see, but... Perhaps now was not the time.

"Sh, it is alright..." Alistair whispered as he went to give his new wolf ears a comforting scratch.

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[ARTISAN KIM]

Where was his sly “I'm-doing-something-I-know-I'm-not-supposed-to” smile? Where were the full lips that pouted when he didn't get something he want? What had happened to the lovely shade of hazel in his eyes? Why was the skin on his face so thick and fleshy instead of a silky white, pure of imperfection? Artie stared at his reflection incredulously, unable to believe that the stupid, dull looking creature staring from the bottom of the bowl was himself. He'd always known that he was good looking when in humanoid form – especially compared to most chimeras whom were forever trapped in hideous, mutated bodies. Artie blinked and the monster blinked back. “That bad,” whispered the chimera, “No Artie.”

To his amazement, the monster's perplexed expression changed into a goofy smile at Alistair's touch. Why was it panting like that? Was it that hard to keep it's tongue in so he wouldn't drool over everything? Artie touched the surface of the water with the tipped of a clawed finger, and watched as the monster did the same. The monster was himself.

“I-I shift back now,” he stammered. The chimera tensed up and closed his eyes, but his panic made it too difficult to control his shifting. Instead, he heard a few snaps as spin curved more like an animal's. “Artie shift now!” he said desperately, fighting the urge to hide behind Alistair. He tried again. And again. And again. “No work...” he said. If he'd done anything, it was make himself worse off than before. He could hear the beast's proud howling in his head; this was the strong, useful body was all the beast needed to live out its instincts to the fullest.

“C-confused,” he said, “Master, fix Artie? Artie want human again! B-but like feeling, too. Want chase something. A-a-and have ear scratched again.” Artie looked up to Alistair for help, and could feel the humanity fleeing from his mind his heart. The beast would remain docile, as Artie was technically still in charge...but that same wild side, the one of the beast, had been cooped up for too long. It merely wanted to stretch its legs and relieve some pent-up instincts.

How harmful could it be to let the beast tucker itself out?

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Alright, now he was worried. Alistair watched as Artie had failed to shift back in anxiety. Guilt began to well up in his stomach as he saw the scenario was all his fault. In fact, everything that night was. He yelled at Artie, which caused his mind to revert back into its primordial stage. He selfishly asked Artie to shift so that he could feel better about himself and now the poor chimera was stuck. Though Alistair knew the two sides of Artie had the same heart, they were completely different from one another. He had gotten too curious with the oddity and now he had let the beast loose. It was all his fault.

Deep within Alistair knew by his own personal instincts that his release of his inner chimera was the best for a healthy state of psychology, especially in a closed environment with a man that just wanted to see him happy. Still, morality and self esteem stood in the way of proper logic and best interests. "A-Artie please forgive me..." Alistair mumbled while looking at the ground. He was no longer able to look at the chimera; his hideous mutation reminding him of the stupid decision he made. "I am sure you will change back... I hope so..."" That last part was mumbled in a whisper. "I am not sure I can help you..." Absent-mindedly Alistair scratched his ears once more as he figured if he was going to be useless he might as well follow a simple request.

Dwelling on his faults, Alistair's mood slightly darkened. The scenario had gotten him to think about his own monstrous position now. Maybe what Artie was doing was the appropriate reaction. But... There was so much that could go wrong. "Artie, I do want your opinion since you know more than me about satisfying that other half. I acknowledge that you desire for me to follow what I truly want, but I am not quite sure myself." Alistair sat down next to the chimera, almost looking like a doll against a giant. "Tonight... Should I let my monster take over? Is it its turn to control my body? D-do you think I would be able to control myself with its mind dominant?" The questions were asked in a shaky voice, as if he were afraid to receive an answer. The ringmaster shifted in embarrassment when his stomach growled boisterously and his arms attempted to suppress the gnawing pain and noise with a self-hug.

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“Master no help?” he whimpered, “B-but...Why master no can fix?” Whilst trapped in a beast's body, Artie found it difficult to wrap his head around the concept of planning for the future. Even though the young man inside of him was screaming for the beast to change back, lest he have to leave Alistair's office looking like a monster...it was all too easy to get absorbed into the immediate present. What was it that had him worried again? There was no immediate danger, so why was he so upset? Honestly, Artie would be fine as long as he didn't see his reflection and freak out again. Alistair could thank the monster puppy's short attention-span for that.

“Feel sorry for bad man,” sighed the chimera, “Bad man only exist – only want eat. Master punish bad man...no reason.” Artie now sympathized more with a demon than his own Alistair. Then again, he had a first-hand perspective on what it felt like to be hated and disciplined for doing nothing worse than existing. “Bad idea...bad idea let monster out when he angry with master.”

It was funny to watch the giant of a creature try to curl up at Alistair's feet. At first he tilted his head at the sound of the stomach growl, and he raised an eyebrow at Alistair. Apparently, a mutated Artie could lose all the humanity it wanted, but not an ounce of sass. The expression was soon replaced with the simple, blissful smile one would learn to associate with the beast. Well, as long as it wasn't threatened or angry.

“Master have lot to learn,” he said, “Never let monster 'take charge'. Master...only you be charge. Show bad man who the boss!” Artie nodded for emphasis and slid closer to Alistair, nesting himself against Alistair. “Artie know why no can shift,” he said, “Beast a showoff! Beast want...want bad man think he cool! Pretend he control Artie!” Artie giggled at the thought, while the beast within him wanted to sulk and hide under the desk. It was confusing, at the least, to have two completely different beings share one mind and body. “He want badman for master! Silly beast!”

Artie didn't know how else to lighten the mood besides laugh, sit at Alistair's side, and do his best to stay there. It really was all he could do for the ringmaster in this state. Was it truly enough? “Master? Artie have question! Master answer? Please?” he said suddenly, using his head to nudge Alistair's shoulders, “Artie want know...Why master trust Artie? Why Artie opinion val...v-va...valuable? Why need Artie?"

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[ALISTAIR PYREWICK]

Another wave of guilt hit Alistair's conscious once Artie showed his glumness at Alistair's lack of the ability to fix his problem. "I do not know how your mind works, Artie. I am not entirely certain as to wether or not you have triggers, so to say, and what they are. You seem to have a good relationship with your beast, so I am sure that when time seeks fit you will revert back to your normal self." Alistair whispered in hopes that his pathetic excuse was enough. Either way, the ringmaster found that he had appreciated both sides of his friend. Was it the fact that, unlike the other times he had went ballistic, he had allowed himself to be this way instead of fighting it? Had some sort of mental exchange occurred? The situation was puzzling, but fascinating none the less.

The puzzling and inquisitive nature quickly vanished and replaced itself with shock as Artie sided with Alistair's demon. Alistair took a few scoots back, though not in a cold manner. He just was... Bewildered. How could he say that? The monster within that now begged Alistair to devote his life to him was the same that, just six years ago, possessed his father in order to terrorize his poor son. Trust at this point was frail, and internally he could just feel the monster scratching at his stomach. How could he listen to it? At this point, the demon within was almost like a dog that hasn't gotten fed within the hour of its usual time. It was doing anything to get the attention of his host, including hurting him in torturous ways. "Artie, I want to feed it, but it has no morality, none at all... If I were to transform right now and let it out, my mind would be encased with its instincts. The only way I would be in control is being conscious the entire time... We reverse roles, so I would be helpless to whatever it does besides screaming at it to stop..." a Alistair looked down. "Artie, it would not care what you mean to me. All it sees is flesh and blood. It would dismember you piece by piece and devour you without remorse Artie. I do not know how to guide it in the right direction, or if I am able to..." He had never tried, though was it too risky to do so? "I have been starving it for so long, that perhaps it may just listen to me... But could I ever trust it after what it has done to me?"

After the rhetorical question, Alistair silenced himself to allow Artie to somewhat cheer him up. The beast tried to impress Alistair's monster? To be honest, Alistair wasn't sure if the arrogant bogeyman inside him even cared about its existence. The monster was self righteous- it knew it was superior to anything below it, simply because it could kill anything in a manner of seconds. The spirit within Alistair had been around for eons, and selected one of Alistair's ancestors to have the rest of his family line its carrier. The ringmaster swore that he was only another carcass for him to take over. Personally, the two shared no connection. "Well, I believe your beast may not quite grasp how well you are controlling yourself right now." Alistair remarked in a complimenting tone. They had an excellent middle ground existing; how, although, Artie had lost most of his humanity, he still acted like the Artie known to Alistair before him. Alistair held great respect for Artie for that reason.

When the question was asked Alistair looked down to think. How could he respond? In only a few seconds, he came to a conclusion. "Artie, I do not have many others to talk to. I cannot fathom how lucky I am that I have not only a friend but someone I can relate to." Alistair smiled softly and folded his hands. "You are very valuable to me. You have given me more than I could have ever asked for, and do not think I am scary." He looked down once more. "You probably know by now that nobody visits me, because they think I am frightening. They do not know my oddity. You do. And you still see me. And still like me..."

He smiled a bit more and leaned on his shoulder slightly. "I thought you knew that by now." Though he felt warmed by the moment, the iciness of the severity of the situation soon retuned. Alistair slightly gulped. Did Artie really need to know this? Maybe... If he saw... He would understand him a bit more. What he was going through. He stood suddenly and stood to face the crouching Artie.

"Artie... There is something I need to show you... To perhaps... Make you understand..."

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[ARTISAN KIM]

“Beast...well trained,” he explained, “Like attack dog.” Artie was getting more restless by the minute; he stretched and wiggled, thumped his tail and scratched itches, and couldn't hold still if his life depended on it. Nothing was being done to curb the chimera's excessive energy, and it was beginning to overwhelm his body. Chewing on teddy-bears could only satisfy the animal for so long, before it desired bones to crack – or at the very least, a game of fetch to get its heart pumping.

“Beast wait for Artie command, yes?” he said, “Beast predator and killer. Beast no help that. Artie understand. But make sure beast listen Artie good. Then reward or punishment. Good method. Most times, beast like Artie take care good. Artie eat big food for beast! Good food – yum! Like cake! And pigeons!”

At least know the circus knew how he was able to consume so much food; with a giant franken-puppy hiding inside of him, it was a no-brainer. “Most times, beast want hunt and sleep,” he said, trying to give Alistair a clearer mental picture, “But sometimes beast bad...like PJ hurt.”

A pained, disheartened look flashed in Artie's eyes as he examined one of his claws. He could still hear the screaming of his frightened, human prey. He could still feel the hot, coppery blood slithering down his own throat. He remembered...he remembered the feeling of being satisfied. “Artie used be full beast all time...”

Through literature and his undying love for knowledge, Artie's humanity had been given a voice during his early life. For a very long time, the beast within him had full control of his thoughts and behaviors. Artie hadn't been aware that he was even capable of human emotions and thoughts until someone he'd first cracked open the pages of a picture book. The strange symbols on the pages interested Artie's human side more so than the beast, who'd honestly only wanted to chew on the colorful pictures. It didn't take long before Artie's human side, filled with a passion for deciphering the print, began to fight for control.

The results hadn't been pretty. Was he an intelligent, young gentleman? Or was he a savage, wild animal? Once gaining temporary control, each side would act out and exaggerate in order to anger its opposite. But overtime, they'd mutually accepted the fact that constant war was making both of them miserable.

The compromising started out small; maybe the beast would only attack one doctor instead of two that day, or maybe Artie would remember to get some exercise instead of burying his nose in books all day. Soon, they realized that cooperation made both of them satisfied. Non-official “rules” began being established between the two of them, ultimately creating the odd mix of animal and human that sat besides Alistair.

“Bad mean eat...fear, yes?” he said, unsure if he remembered correctly, “That way he is. Born that way. Master...master cannot punish bad man for existing...for surviving. Master can punish bad man for no listen. Eat but no kill unless pigeon – that what beast do now. Master! Master no can trust. Master take charge – master make rules and make bad man listen!”

Artie licked his lips at the thought of a fresh pigeon, and his mind drifted off into the daydreams of a hungry and restless beast. He could imagine himself hunting, running, breathing heavy, feeling his heart pound; he could imagine what it felt like to be alive.

Artie snapped back to reality when Alistair stood up. "Show...Artie?" he asked, tilting his head in confusion, "More cake?!"

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