Heaven On Earth

[LILLIAN WILSON]

She was never eating with him again. As accepting as she was, this just... This was not okay! First of, the pie slice. She probably wasn't actually going to share it with him, because it had touched meat and the like, but still! He had wanted to share and suddenly it was gone.

Okay, not completely gone. There was a flake of crust, the faintest amount of red goo suggesting it's flavor, in her hair. It wasn't the only survivor of Artie's attack unfortunately. Lilly was covered in bits and pieces of food and spittle and... God it was blood. There was blood on her arm. Her back actually arched slightly as she shivered, the drop slowly making it's way down her pale skin. She was never going to forget that feeling. Ever.

And her plate? Her so carefully balanced meal? It hadn't been spared. Her brown eyes stared down at it, at the small blob of meat fat sitting on top her roll, shivering and shimmering as if it was waving at her cheerfully.

She was going to be sick.

Ever so slowly, still completely and utterly aware of the blood, she stood up. She didn't even care that he had fallen, and when she looked at him... Where those tears in her eyes? She had known he would be something like this, but not to this extreme. This? This was not cute. Not cute at all. Her table went silent as they watched to see what she would do, a few of them having gotten caught in his mess as well.

She didn't get mad. She just felt... She couldn't really feel anything. Nothing but the blood drop as it fell from her elbow. "I will have Teddy fixed before morning. Goodnight, in case you're sleep by then."

And then she turned around to leave. She was going to shower with hot water and steel wool, fix the bear, deliver it, and then throw more blades at her door. Maybe break it completely. Or sneak into the Big Top and destroy something in there. Really, anything would do.

[ARTISAN KIM]

“Wh-where are you going?” asked Artie, “Don't you want dessert?” When normal people saw a dinner table, they probably thought of a great meal and some chitchat. When Artie saw a dinner table, the instinct to shred and tear everything in sight was overpowering. As far as the food-blizzard went, Artie hadn't noticed – let alone anticipated – it happening. It took him a moment to look around the disaster zone to really understand what he'd done. Some of the oddities seemed pissed off, while others seemed amused. But it was the oddities that looked to him with pity or sadness that sent him bolting out of the room.

He had work to do.

* * * * *

“Tap. Tap. Tap.”

A familiar face was squished against the window. Artie looked like he'd just hopped out of the shower: wet hair slicked down and cheeks still red from the warm steam. He wobbled on the edge of the windowsill, his toes wrapped around the edge like he was Spider-Man. In one hand, he pressed a card against the window so Lilly could read the front: “I'm sorry.“

For someone who ate like a Neanderthal, he had the pristine handwriting of a poet. The cursive handwriting with its elegant loops and swirls didn't seem to match up with the puppy-eyed boy on the windowsill, but perhaps it was a sign of what Artie wanted to be. He wanted his behavior to fit into that gentleman handwriting, but learning to control the impulses and instincts allowed to run wild all of his life wasn't a task that could be completed overnight. He needed someone with the patience to work with him, to assimilate him into society, and to be a good listener for when he needed to share the worries plaguing his heart. Artie tried reasoning with himself that Carter had needed to be worked with, then perhaps he was the same way; Artie wasn't necessarily hopeless. He just needed some work...a lot of work.

In his other hand, he held a bouquet of lilies that he'd plucked out of someone's garden. Heck, they still had the roots attached with clumps of dirt. The collection of flowers was quite enormous, almost obscuring his whole torso. “Lilly?” said Artie, “I'm...I'm...I-I...” His lips puckered up as it looked like he'd burst into tears any second. If one looked close enough, they could see that his eyes were already red from crying earlier. “I didn't mean...I couldn't help it,” he said shakily, “Lilly...Lilly?”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

She was covered in tiny scratches. Any way she sat, any way she laid down, even standing caused them to burn. The bottoms of her feet, behind her ear, they were everywhere. And while they were self inflicted, Lilly really hadn't meant them. The poor girl had OCD tendencies and the food on her, it flipped the switch. So she had scrubbed and scrubbed in the shower, determined to get every single shred of food off of her.

And she /still/ felt the blood.

But had she scrubbed any harder she would have really hurt herself. So she had left the shower, and though her stomach ached with hunger, she returned to her room. She didn't know if Artie was still in the dining hall and she really didn't want to see him again. For the longest time she didn't even get dressed. Her towel wrapped tight around her, her golden hair in wavy curly clumps, she had just existed. Lillian just stared at her destroyed door, fingers itching for a blade but body far too lazy to reach and get one.

Which was probably a good thing. The door was going to break eventually, then what was she gonna do? Hang a curtain?

And then the thoughts came. She had no right to destroy the door like that. It was her room, but it was a gift. She was given a home by the Ringmaster, and what did she do to repay him? She used a door for target practice. She was an ungrateful brat, but when had that ever been different? She shouldn't have even been at the Circo. Choosing a bunch of freaks over her family, just because she didn't like moving around? Just because she couldn't handle a little name calling? Pitiful. Take take take. That was all she ever did and she hated it. She hated herself. She really and honestly did.

By the time Artie came around, Lilly had gotten dressed. Black tights and an oversized shirt were her normal nighttime apparel, and that night was no different. She had gotten out of her depressed bubble at one point and worked on the Teddy, which had not joined her on the bed. A careful hand had stitched the eye back into place exactly. The worn places where replaced, a soft brown fabric sewn in so carefully that one almost couldn't see the stitches. She always did her best work when she was depressed, and that night was nothing different. Besides that the new fabric didn't yet have stains, one almost wouldn't have guessed that the bear had been in such important surgery.

And the old pieces of the bear? It had been shredded and turned into stuffing for the poor bear. It hadn't been enough, but she had had some pants legs laying around from when she turned a few pairs into shorts. Those had been carefully shredded as well, and now he was plump and huggable.

She had been hugging the bear close, searching for comfort, when something tapped on her window. It wasn't until she heard his voice, though, that she got up. The bear took a tumble, falling onto her floor, but she didn't care. Artie had her full attention. She just watched him for a moment, without any emotion. She didn't believe he was there, in all honesty. Maybe she was imagining it. Maybe it was a clue to just step out the window and be done with it all.

And then she saw the flowers, roots still attached. Yeah. It was Artie. And the dumb dog had destroyed someone's garden, killing off all the flowers she shared a name with. That was nice. With a sigh she stepped forward, extremely carefully opening the window. "I fixed Teddy."

[ARTISAN KIM]

Clumps of dirt scattered onto the floor as he held out the bouquet in his shaking, nervous hands. Nevertheless, a look of hopefulness flickered across his face as he thrust the gifts into Lilly's possession. “I picked you some flowers,” he said shyly. He wanted to mention the pretty lightning bugs he'd been chasing moments before an old lady yelled at him to get off her lawn, but he figured that was a story for another time. Lilly didn't look too happy to see him...but at least she'd fixed his teddy-bear! That meant something good, right?

“Really?! You fixed him? Where is he?!” he gasped. Artie's gaze swept across the room and when it landed on the toy, he burst into a smile. Without waiting so much for an invitation, he hopped into the room and walked – restraining himself from running took a lot of effort too! - to the bear. He scooped it up but didn't snuggle with it right away. Rather, he held it in his hands and looked down with a sad smile. “He looks just like when I first got him,” he whispered, “Thank you.”

Small bursts of memories flooded back to him; a white room, a warm cot, an empty room with only a bouncy ball to keep him company. He remembered throwing it the wall for most of the day, wondering if the wall would break if he hit the same spot often enough. He remembered being small and fragile, easily frightened by anything and everything. He remembered when the scientists started sending a behaviorist to check on him and interact with him. The smell of her perfume, her warm smile, her motherly presence... “The behaviorist gave him to me,” he said, “She told me that whenever I hugged him, I wouldn't feel sad or scared.”

That toy never left Artie's possession; no matter where he went, that teddy-bear was always cradled in his arms. After a moment, he looked back to Lilly. He could smell the scratches and immediately thought about the scars on her stomach. Had she...done that to herself? Because of him? He pulled the bear close to his chest. The toy was softer than before, more plush and comforting to hug. Best of all, it smelled like Lilly – it smelled like a nice person.

Suddenly, he held the bear out to Lilly. “You can borrow him whenever you want,” he said slowly, “You can hug him too. When you're mad at me or sad or lonely or feel like you hate yourself...” In other words: if she felt like he felt most of the time. “You can hug him too. And then, I can hug you.”

He didn't want to see Lilly hurt herself anymore. Ever so gently, as though the scratches were cracks in glass, he pulled her into a hug. “I have a lot to learn,” he sighed, “But I want to learn. Will you teach me? Carter's teaching me too, but I don't think it's enough.”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

Maybe... maybe the flowers wouldn't die. Now that they were in Lillian's arms she didn't think he'd really damaged them. They still had their roots and, though they looked kinda droopy, maybe she'd be able to nurse them back to health. And wouldn't that be pretty? She was sure she could find somewhere to plant them. Somewhere the sun couldn't kill them, somewhere where they were safe from trampling feet. She could have her own little garden, at least for awhile.

The thought made her smile. Artie appeared and suddenly things were just a little brighter.

She carefully put the flowers on her desk, spreading them out a little so they wouldn't crush each other. "Of course I fixed him Artie. I told you I would." But now that she had, what was she going to do? Ever so carefully, the last remaining pants leg was laid over the flower's roots. That would help keep them moist hopefully, at least until she could find them a new home. She should probably moisten it too but first she had to give Artie her attention.

And so she did, turning around just in time for the story of the bear. "She sounds like a good person Artie. I'm happy I could fix the bear for you." And she really was. She had no toys of her own. Unlike most children, she hadn't developed bonds with /things/. She couldn't even really get attached to animals. No, her heart was always given to humans. And, as humans always did, they abused it. Humans were the one and only race that bred weakness into the things around them. The wolf into the puppy, the wild stallion to the humble farm horse.

And Lillian? She was stronger than the humans. And it scared them. So they injected her with their disease. They put the voices in her head, they broke her down until she wasn't a threat anymore.

And she would never really be cured, would she?

"I don't want your bear Artie. It's fine." She may have said more, but he stopped her. Even as gentle as he was, his hug burned. She really hadn't meant to hurt herself, and now she really was regretting it. It was like she had cut herself shaving, and the contact was like lemon juice in the cut. Did she want him to let go though? No. Of course not. She closed her eyes and relaxed, just like she did the first time. She wrapped her arms around him in return, her head resting on his chest.

"I can try." And just like that, she had tied herself right back to him again. For one moment she had been free. She had fixed the bear like she promised. She could have stopped there and walked away. But no. Now she had to teach him...and what was she even teaching him? How to be normal? He didn't really want to do that, he just didn't know it yet. "I didn't mean to get upset Artie. I just..." How could she explain it to him? How the only thing she could feel was the food on her skin? How she could feel every millimeter the blood drop had moved, how she could still feel it. How it had been like a slug's slime trail. She was going to work herself into a panic again if she kept thinking about it. "I don't like stuff being on me, not unless I put it there. I just kinda freaked out."

[ARTISAN KIM]

“I'll be more careful from now on,” said Artie, “It won't happen ever again.” The last thing Artie would ever want is to upset Lilly like he'd done during dinner; he never wanted to cause Lilly to hurt herself. He wanted to be someone Lilly could depend on and admire – somebody she thought was cool and likeable. Right now, he was nothing more than an idiot with his tail between his legs. He was a...a dumb dog. From this day forward, he'd be considerate about all things that could potentially touch Lilly so that she wouldn't see him that way. “I'll be good.”

During their hug, Artie's hands trailed up to the little curls dangling around Lilly's head. He looped one around his finger, pinched another at the end and watched it bounce, and decided that he liked curly hair a lot. He tugged another curl – very lightly, of course – and released so it'd spring back. “Boing!” He giggled and seemed to brighten in mood. Cheerfulness just wafted from his body and pooled in his eyes, bright enough to illuminate a room at midnight if put to the test. His tail wagged with new found speed as another indicator of his elated mood.

“When I was picking you flowers, all these glowing bugs were flying around outside!” he said, “Do you want to chase them with me? We can make nightlights if we put them in a jar – but you have to promise that we'll let them go.” Knowing first hand what it was like to be locked away, Artie was rather sensitive when it came to holding living beings in captivity. Everything from people like Lilly to those magical glowing bugs deserved to be free as they'd like. Artie slipped his hand into Lilly's. “Come with me!” he said, “There are hundreds outside if you know where to look! I can show you! Well, i-if you want.”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

Fireflies? Really? She would have been content with just standing there in his arms. She couldn't even feel the pain anymore, not really. Even if he kept playing with her hair, playing with the curls she so hated. And she really did hate them. They didn't know how to lay flat and liked to go every which way. Besides, when it was all curly like that, it was shorter. She liked her long hair. Sure she always kept it tied back... but she still liked it.

She chuckled a little, looking up at him once more. "Artie, I'm dressed to go to sleep." Not that she would have. She would have stayed up all night, the thoughts in her mind darker than anything night had to offer. Maybe the fireflies were the better option. Besides, if she turned him away now, there's no promise he would come back. "I promise we'll let them go, okay? You go find a big jar for them and I'll get dressed." Seemed like a reasonable plan. They wouldn't waste time searching for a jar and she'd be properly dressed for a midnight run through the Circo.

Oh, yeah. Midnight runs were forbidden, weren't they? Opps. Lilly didn't really care though. She had yet to get into any real trouble, and she was sure Artie was the same. At the most they'd get a little slap on the wrist from whoever was on duty. And hell, maybe they wouldn't even get caught. She could expand her senses to an extend, and Artie was part animal. If they were really careful... hopefully.

Should she challenge him to a race? See if she could get dressed faster than he could find a jar? As tempting as it was, she didn't dare. Knowing her luck he'd come barging in as she pulled on some shorts. "Go on. I'll get dressed quickly, promise."

[ARTISAN KIM]

Artie rummaged through janitor closets and recycling bins until he found a glass jar big enough to catch fireflies in it. He uncapped the jar, took a whiff, and was delighted to find it still smelled like the sweet, cinnamon applesauce it once contained. While it was tempting to rummage through the trash bins in case someone had thrown out something tasty, he had a feeling it was one of those things that could make Lilly upset if she found out. Glass jar in hand, Artie skipped his way across the building and back to Lilly's room.

The young man was light on his feet as he sped across the hall, using the tips of his toes as to not make a sound. There was supposedly a rule about not sneaking out past bedtime, but Artie hadn't been paying much attention to when he was welcomed into the Circo. When he should have been listening to rules, he was eying a housefly that'd been buzzing around his head. Heh. Artie wouldn't be winning awards for “longest attention span” any time soon.

Finally, Artie made it to Lilly's dorm. He took a deep breath, able to smell her nice-person scent all the way from outside the hall. Time to chase things! Chasing things was his favorite past time! And now, he'd be enjoying his favorite pastime with his favorite person! Too excited to remember his manners, Artie barged into the room with an excited: “Lilly! Lilly! I found the—Oops!”

Artie smacked a hand over his eyes hard enough to leave red marks. “Are you still changing? I, uh, didn't see anything! Nope!”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

The race would definitely have been a bad idea. Thankfully though, she was dressed and searching for things to help them catch fireflies when Artie burst into her room. With a laugh she walked over, kissing the back of his eye-hiding hand. "It's okay silly. I'm dressed." She couldn't just throw on what she had been wearing, because it was still contaminated with nasty food stuff. And besides, it was probably going to get cold. So she had thrown on capris and a medium sleeved shirt. Not too warm, but better than her normal tanks and shorts.

Besides, if she was cold, she'd have a reason to snuggle with Artie again.

With a smile, she walked past him and out into the hall. "Come on. They aren't going to wait for us." It was then that she extended her hand to him. For now, it seemed, everything was forgiven. And maybe it was. He had promised that he would get better. It hurt a little, to be honest. It hurt that she couldn't accept him for how he was. But really... Did it matter? It wasn't like she was going to teach him to eat formally, that was just silly. As long as he didn't make a mess anymore, she didn't really care how he ate.

Plus, it would kinda be funny to watch him try to eat rice with his fingers.

It was just little things. Little things he would have had to learn anyway. She wasn't really going to try to change him. She wasn't his master and she wasn't going to force him into anything.

Though, really, him forcing /her/ to do things was more likely. Like the fireflies. She wasn't supposed to be outside at night, neither of them were. And she had been all dressed for bed. And yet here she was, ready to go romping through the darkness like rules didn't apply to them. Just lovely.

[ARTISAN KIM]

“It's okay, silly. I'm dressed.”
Once Lilly had given him one of those human-licks on his hand, Artie peeked through his fingers to make sure Lilly was fully dressed. He was probably one of the few teenage boys on the planet who wouldn't neither peak at a changing girl or try anything inappropriate when they shared a bed with one. “Phew,” sighed Artie, “That was a close one!”

* * *
With their hands intertwined, Artie sped down the corridors so fast that his feet barely touched the floor. Every now and then he'd stop, his ears would shift and swivel to check the surroundings for footsteps, then revert back to normal so their escape could begin again. It didn't take long for them to reach outside. The first thing Artie did was stretch his arms wide with a stifled giggle, look up at the stars, and take a deep breath of summer night. “I wish we could sleep outside,” he said, “Ah, well...Come on! I'll show you where a whole bunch of those bugs are!”

Once again, Artie took Lilly by the hand and led her through the night. He lead her right to where a swarm of fireflies resided, bobbing and flickering near the ranch area. “Look over there!” whispered Artie, “They're glowing like magic! I'm gonna catch you one so you can make a wish!”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

They needed to do this every night. Every single night. Yeah it was against the rules, but she loved it. They ran through the dorm and Lilly surprisingly kept up, though she wasn't near as silent as him. It was hard to be a human and be silent but she was trying her very hardest. And, for a human, she was actually pretty good. She also read his body very well. Each time he stopped to listen, she stopped as well. It was kinda funny actually. She'd stop and strain her ears to hear any and all sounds, knowing very well that it wasn't likely she'd hear a thing. Another human thing.

Humans sucked.

And then they were outside. Once again, Artie was adorable. He reached out and giggled a little, and this display made Lillian's smile brighter. "If we don't get caught, and we don't get cold, I won't mind." Sleeping outside? Under the stars? With him? It was like a dream come true. Not that she had dreamed about him. No, she hadn't gotten that bad yet. Still, it was a very nice idea. And then he took her hand and they were off again.

At a much more reasonable pace though. As they walked Lillian looked around, absolutely amazed. She hadn't been outside at night, at least not around Circo. The scorching heat of the day was quickly fading as darkness stole in, and one by one little stars began to shine. It was beautiful. Just when she thought it couldn't get any better, they found the fireflies.

It was like the stars had come down to dance and play with them. She knew that wasn't the case of course, she wasn't stupid, but still. Maybe it was because of Artie, but something seemed different. For just a moment, or a handful of moments, she could almost believe there was such a thing as magic. "Please?"

[ARTISAN KIM]

"We won't get caught," reassured Artie, "I'll keep watch! And I won't get cold! Let's sleep out here! Together!"

Catching fireflies wouldn't be added to Artie's resume of talents any time soon; he'd run headfirst into the cloud of fireflies, only to be surprised when they scattered in fear. The jar was left on the ground so Artie could run after the bugs, hopping and trying to catch them in his hands. One firefly in particular zipped around his head, sending Artie chasing after the insect in small circles. Of course, that lead to him chasing his tail for a minute or two.

This is where the sugar from dinner kicked in, wasn't it? At this point, Artie had enough energy to chase a stick across the nation and bring it back to Lilly by daybreak. He wouldn't be getting tired for awhile...at least until his sugar high crashed. His attention snapped back to the fireflies as he felt one tickle his cheek. Even bugs could sense that Artie, as powerful as his abilities may be, was harmless.

Finally, he managed to cup one of the fireflies in his hands. He made his way back to Lilly the best he could: wobbling and unable to walk in a straight line from running himself dizzy. He held out his hands with a victory smile on his face. Heck, all he needed was an extra-long tongue for that doggy grin to be complete. “Quick, get the jar! I caught one!”

A firefly landed on the tip of Artie's nose, where it flickered and stretched its wings. Artie went cross-eyed from trying to look at it, but gave up that notion when he could look into Lilly's eyes instead. He wobbled in place. “Make a wish on this one! Hurry! Haha, it tickles!”

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

What was it about this boy? One moment he was making her life a fantasy, the next he was causing panic attacks. Everything in her said she needed to end this. Surely he couldn't be good for her. He was chasing the fireflies, having the time of his life. He wouldn't even notice if she just slipped away.

And even while every logical cell in her body said to leave, she sat down to watch him play. She couldn't leave him. Even if he made her cry, even if he made her scrub her skin so hard it burned, every smile made it worth it. Besides, he was the most adorable thing ever. Something as simple as a bug made him happy. Would it really be so bad if she let him in her life? No. Not at all. He needed a little work, but she was willing to do it. She wanted him happy with everything she was.

He wobbled his way back to her, a little drop of starlight trapped in his hands. "We'll make a wish together, when we let all of them go, okay?" Then she'd have time to think through her wish. What would she wish for? She had everything she ever wanted. A home, a family, a job, a best friend, happiness... She would wish for him. It was perfect. She would wish that he'd get those things too. With a small laugh, Lillian reached out to scoop the firefly off his nose. "And then we'll find a place to sleep."

[ARTISAN KIM]

When Artie noticed that Lilly wasn't going wild chasing after bugs like he was, he plunked down beside her and stared at the firefly cloud. Could it be more fun to watch them rather than chase them? He held his breath, tilted his head, and tried to see what Lilly found so interesting about watching. After a few minutes of pondering, he decided that it was still much more fun to chase them. However, he'd been sitting still long enough for several fireflies to settle on his face and shoulders. The bugs seemed rather attracted to him, but whether it be because of his gentle heart or the fact he was part animal was unknown. “They sure like me,” he laughed, “If I hold still, then you can pick them off me and put them in the jar!”

Artie squinted his eyes and stifled his giggles as another firefly walked across his face, tickling him with its tiny legs. “Being a firefly sounds like fun,” he said playfully, “I'd shift into one to play with them, but I don't think that's a good idea...You might catch me by accident!” Or rather, his organs wouldn't like such a drastic change and retaliate once he was back into human form. Artie wasn't too educated on human anatomy, so putting himself back together after a shift was like a jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes, he put the right piece in the wrong place. The more he knew about an animal and its behavior, the easier it was for him to shift between forms. For that reason, his ability would be limited until he could check out some National Geographic magazines at the library.

“Do ya know what you're gonna wish for yet?” he asked, “I know what I'm gonna wish for.” He grinned, like he was about to tell some big secret, but waited for Lilly to share. "Tell me your wish and I'll tell you mine!"

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

If she told him her wish, he'd tell his. It was a fair trade, but did she really want to give that secret away? It was a dumb wish in all honesty. Just thinking about sharing it made her blush, which of course made her look away. He would laugh at her if she told him. She was near certain of it. "If you tell people wishes, they don't come true." She murmured softly. "It's a magic rule. You can't tell anyone about it or it won't work." She had heard that somewhere. Some fairytale had probably mentioned it, not that she had ever really paid attention. She never really liked fairy tales.

And now she was living in one. It was like she was in some kind of Hollywood dream. But... It was all too good to last, right? There was no such thing as happily ever after. She was going to have to wake up eventually. And besides, if this was a movie, something bad was bound to happen. All good moments were followed by heart-wrenching sorrow.

Once her blush had faded, Lillian looked at the puppy once more. He kinda looked like a Christmas tree with the fireflies all over him. "You can chase them if you want, you know. I just wanted to watch first." She was scared that, if she started chasing them too, her powers would act up. Her entire focus would be catching the little bugs and that's all she'd be able to remember later. She'd catch a whole bunch of them, but... It wasn't really worth it. "I can chase them now." She had the images of him chasing the little stars engraved in her mind.