Heaven On Earth

[LILLIAN WILSON]

She found him adorable, but not everyone did. But what was she supposed to do about it? She didn't want to change him and, honestly, she wasn't quite sure she could. Puppies weren't exactly the easiest things to train. She knew that from experience. She herself had never owned a puppy but she had played with the ones her friends owned. They simply had too much energy and too little attention. Thankfully, she didn't have to get his attention.

"I can't make them go faster Artie." She said softly, sounding almost sad. The poor boy acted like he was going to die if the line didn't move. "They're filling their plates, and they're probably being careful so they don't spill." Or some had decided to be jerks and purposely go slow to bother the puppy. She swung their hands gently, hoping the movement would help him wait. "But now we have to wait." Next time, should there be a next time, she would set an alarm. Snuggling and sleeping for hours didn't quite prepare her for dealing with this drama. It was like he absolutely needed food right then and there, and there was nothing she could do for him.

And then she perked up. She had thought of the perfect way to distract him. It was about food, which would keep his interest, but he'd have to think and hopefully wouldn't bother people. "Artie, is there anything that you can't eat? I know that puppies can't have chocolate and things like that. Do you have anything like that?" She herself couldn't have seafood, but that wasn't exactly the same thing. Chocolate killed dogs. Fish just made her sick for awhile.

[ARTISAN KIM]

“Food I can't eat?” he repeated, “I'm not supposed to have much coffee or soda.” With his insides already misshapen and misplaced, large quantities of caffeine were bad for Artie. While a bowl of coffee ice cream or a tiny bit of soda every now and then wouldn't hurt him, a cup of coffee a day was asking for a heart attack. “Or things with lots of caffeine,” he said, “No Red Bull. Or tea.”

Artie's focus teetered between the conversation and the smell of food wafting from the table. His gaze wavered from Lilly to the line, and back again. “Makes my...makes my heart jumpy,” he said, sounding distracted, “I've never had chocolate before, so I dunno if...if I can have tha—MY TURN!”

Artie snagged a plate and bolted to the buffet. In his zeal, Artie bumped into the Oddity in front of him. The plate slipped out of the other patron's hands, hitting the floor and shattering. Food went flying, splattering on both of their feet. Artie free hand flew to his chest, where he twisted his t-shirt uncomfortably. He stiffened, eyes-wide and body frozen, as he prepared for punishment. He didn't even think to apologize. Or say anything. Or move.

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

So no caffeine. She could work with that. Not only could she work with that, but she could expand his horizons. Not all teas or sodas or coffee had caffeine. She'd have to be careful with the sodas though. If caffeine made his heart jumpy, too much sugar would probably do the same. Besides, he was spazmatic as it was. Did she really want to see him sugar-hyper? Really? The world would end. She was absolutely certain of it. He would implode like a star or something.

As amusing as her thoughts, and the conversation was, it didn't last long. Suddenly Artie was running for his turn, and ran right into someone. While the poor puppy froze, Lilly did not. She calmly stepped forward, grabbed an extra plate, and put her arms around Artie. "I'm sorry, and so is he." She tilted her head, giving the poor victim a smile. "We've been outside all day, so he's hungry. Here." The extra plate was held out to the poor guy. Hopefully that would appease. If not, Lilly wasn't quite sure what she would do. She didn't fight other people's battles, both because it was wrong and kinda unfair with her gift, but she didn't think she could watch Artie get hit.

[LILLIAN WILSON]

His first reaction was shock. One moment he had been joking around with his friends, filling his plate, and the next... This, this shrimp came out of nowhere and tackled him. The plate dropped from his hands, crashing to the ground in a fantastic display of shards and food. Had it been to anyone else, it actually would have been pretty cool.

Unfortunately, it wasn't to anyone else. Aaron slowly turned around to face the pup. His dark brown eyes took in every single detail. How he kinda cowered away, how he seemed to be waiting to be hit. It was clear he was submissive. Aaron may have brushed it off, just pushed the idiot a little and used some of his choice words, but then this broad appeared. She held out a clean plate, apologizing for the two of them, as if that would make it any better.

Pale lips slipped into a smirk. "There's a better way you could say sorry. Otherwise, let the men handle this." The girl's face flushed red, and he heard his friends snickering behind him. He had only meant her filling the plate up, like a good little girl, but if she wanted to take it that way, so be it.

[ARTISAN KIM]

Artie normally would've taken whatever came at him without complaint, knowing that he might as well get his punishment over with. It wasn't the first time this had happened at a mealtime and wouldn't be the last. But this time, he had a friend with him. Even if he couldn't understand the exact connotation, Artie knew that there was a meaning behind Aaron's words that had upset Lilly. People were laughing at Lilly because of what Aaron had said.

“That's not very nice,” he said. Artie managed to tear his eyes from the floor and look at Aaron. He took a step in front of Lilly, like he wanted to block off the laughter. “I don't know what that joke meant,” he admitted, “But you should say 'sorry'.”

Were they good? Everybody was going to apologize? Lilly had already apologized for him, so he was all set. Artie inched over to the buffet and tried to sneak a few slices of steak into his mouth, naively believing that the conflict was over. He looked up. With his mouth full, he said: “Yoff should shay shoffy.” Whoops. Maybe he had a little too much food in his mouth.

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

First the little shrimp had the nerve to knock the plate out of his hands, and then decided to grow a pair and order him around? The girl was instantly forgotten. "And who do you think you are you little-" He had reached to Artie, planning on grabbing him and bringing him back, but suddenly something very heavy slammed into his hand.

His head snapped to the girl. She had done a front flip out of nowhere, her foot slamming into the back of his wrist. "Don't touch him." Who was this chick? Did she think she was a ninja or something?

One of his friends spoke up, saying something about that was the knife girl and she shouldn't be messed with, but Aaron was seeing red. "Okay little *****." Normally he didn't hit women, but she was really getting on his nerves. First she had gotten involved, and now she had actually struck him. He threw his arms out, a weird bone-like structure about the size of his forearms sliding out of his wrists.

She looked a little scared. With a smirk he went to strike her, aiming for her legs to knock her down. He'd get her out of the way, the deal with the stupid freak.

She was standing on the bone blade. It was only for a second, before she backflipped to a few feet away thanks to his momentum. She smiled ever so slightly, tilting her head. "Is that really the best you can do?"

[ARTISAN KIM]

“THAT IS A BAD WORD!” gasped Artie, “NOT NICE. BAD.” As he recovered from shock, – there was a reason why the Ringmaster forbade foul language! - Artie fidgeted on the sidelines. Vaguely, he recalled there being a rule about fighting at Circo. If he wasn't already in trouble for pushing in line and if Lilly hadn't been involved, Artie would've followed his gut and backed down. He'd never been much of a fighter, having always preferred to drift along situations without conflict. Did pride mean anything to Artie? Not really. The months of nursing broken bones had always meant much more to him.

But Lilly was worth even more than broken bones. What if she got hurt?

“BAD HUMAN.” Artie threw his arms around Aaron, trying to trap the man in a bear-hug. Believe it or not, the little “shrimp” had surprising strength...enough to lift his toes off the floor if he couldn't escape first. “BAD. BAD. BAD. BAD!” shouted Artie. The skin on his arms rippled as they began shifting into the tails of a cobra, an animal known for its crushing strength – not that Artie would crush Aaron. Bear-hugs. Artie only gave out bear-hugs.

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

His friends were laughing at him now. Aaron struggled his hardest, every word he knew coming out of his mouth, but he couldn't do anything. Artie had him perfectly. Lily chuckled a little, slowly walking over to the two boys. "Maybe if you apologized for cussing and causing problems, he'd let you go." She could have just asked Artie to, but what fun would that be? Besides, the boy needed a little building. What better way than having the jerk submit to him? And the fiery bone boy obviously needed taken down a peg or two.

Aaron had a few choice words for that suggestion, of course. But what else could he do? Artie had him with the strength of a python, and the scales were starting to rub his arms raw. Finally, he gave up. "Fine! Fine. I'm sorry for cussing, I'm sorry for calling her names, and I'm sorry for picking a fight. Now let me go!" He wanted to get as far away from the shapeshifting freak and his ninja girlfriend as fast as possible. He'd probably spend the rest of the night in his room, whining and nursing his wounds.

[ARTISAN KIM]

As soon as Aaron apologized, Artie's hands warped back into their original shape and dropped the brute. He rubbed his wrists and forearms as though they pained him...or he'd shifted the bones in the wrong place or something. That happened to him sometimes, which made full-form and torso shifting highly dangerous. With delicate insides that struggled to work on a daily basis, Artie didn't need to bait sudden organ failure.

Their new audience watched as Artie looked up to Aaron with a beaming smile. But, if they thought Artie was done with the oddity, they had another thing coming. Artie puckered up, squished his lips against Aaron's cheek, and shook his head with a big, wet "MWAH!"

The meat juice that'd dribbled out the corner's of Artie's mouth didn't make the cleanest "kiss" either. It was clear what Artie was trying to do, but the result was that Aaron became a human napkin.

Artie followed up with a friendly lick to Aaron's face - just in case the kiss didn't make his appreciation known.

"Good boy."

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

That was gross. As accepting as Lilly was, the meat-y kiss made her skin crawl. She and Aaron seemed to be on the same page as well, if she read the look of disgust correctly.

Aaron had had enough. First he was humiliated, then this brat decides to use him as a napkin? No. That wasn't going to fly. His weapons had beeb dropped in the hug, leaving him free to shove the boy. "Next time, when your girlfriend isn't around." He was going to kill him, or at least put him in the infirmary. Warning issued, Aaron turned and stomped off. He was going to take a shower, murder the next runt he came across, then go to sleep.

The problem was solved, for now.

[ARTISAN KIM]

"Well, he seemed a little grumpy."

Oblivious to the threat, Artie brushed himself off and was attracted to the buffet line like a magnet. This time, the other oddities gave him the wiggle room to snatch up food at his leisure. Within seconds, he had a tower of meat on the right half of his plate and a mountain of sweets on the other half. As an afterthought, he'd thrown a sprig of broccoli at the very top - as all good puppies need to consume their vegetables. The result was a teetering tower of food, one that seemed impossible for lean-framed Artie to finish off. But heck, he was going to try.

Struggling to balance his plate, Artie looked up to Lilly with a giant smile on his face. There was nothing Artie loved more than food! Well, except for Teddy and Lilly. Maybe Carter too, but that was up for debate in his mind. Could he really choose a smelly cat over raw meat and powdered sugar? As of late, Artie had been warming up to the hybrid at an alarming rate, beginning to follow him wherever he went.

"Are you going to eat anything, Lilly? Look! Doughnuts!" At this rate, the sugar high would be inevitable. "I think you should get a doughnut because you deserve it! You didn't let that smelly guy hit me. I LOVE YOU!"

Of course, he hadn't meant it in a close relationship kind of way. It was more like how a little kid told his best friend that he loved her. The way Artie said it, its meaning was closer to the fact that Lilly made him extraordinarily happy. But isn't that...what love should be? Love wasn't all about the physical relationship or the status of each partner. Love was when you could share a bed with someone and know they won't try anything, when they show someone their fears and weaknesses and knew that the other wouldn't exploit it, love was about acceptance, holding hands, and powdered doughnuts. But most of all, love was when someone could promise to never, ever hurt another.

Lilly made him happy, so he loved her. It was as simple as that...so far. Maybe in the future, Artie would understand the workings of "normal" relationships. At that point, he might adapt or he might refuse it completely, preferring his own ways of showing affection. But, it didn't matter at this point. Whatever he would choose, it didn't take a genius to know that Lilly had made a very, very good friend for a very, very long time.

"There's cake here too! Wanna share?"

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

As soon as Artie went off to get food, Lillian did as well. She was careful though. Not only did she make sure that all food groups were represented on her plate, and in the correct ratios, but she kept an eye on Artie as well. He honestly could defend himself if he wanted to, but Lillian had a feeling he never would. He was far too kind. Yet another blessing and curse the poor guy carried. Once she was done, she had twice as much as most people because her body honestly needed that much, she calmly waited for her friend.

And was shocked. Circo had a rule about waste, right? Did Artie really think he was going to eat /all/ of that? For a moment Lilly couldn't even hear him, her thoughts about his food choices screaming loudly in her head. But with a deep breath and a focus on his cute face, she managed to push it away. Everyone had different eating habits, and this was his. She wasn't going to judge it. He knew is body far better than she did, maybe his blood was made of sugar and he needed to replace it or something.

"I'm eating, I got a plate." She smiled a little, showing him her well-balanced meal. "And I don't really want a doughnut." She tried to avoid sweets most of the time. What did one expect from her? She had lived most of her life under the reign of victory-hungry coaches. She had taught herself to eat right and listen to her body, a skill quite a few lacked. She looked over his plate again. "I love you too Artie. But how about we get a pie slice instead? I don't think you have any fruit on your plate." Unless he couldn't have fruit. That would be her luck.

[ARTISAN KIM]

"Do I need to eat fruit?" he asked, "Why not a cookie instead? It's got raisins in it - that's a fruit!" Artie heaped a handful of oatmeal cookies on the top of his dinner-tower, thus squishing the measly sprig of broccoli he'd set at the peak. Trusting Artie to make healthy food choices in the buffet line was like expecting a toddler to give up candy. You had to be stern or they'd get their way - which would only result in bellyaches and bursts of energy.

"Pie? The one with whipped cream?! Okay! I'll eat some of that!" he said. That slice squished atop of the cookies, its fillings dribbling down the cliffs of his monstrous, sugar-rush-inducing plate. "Is this okay, Lilly?" he asked sweetly, holding out his plate. The tower wobbled and threatened to fall over any minute. "Gee, I never got to pick my own food before! I like it here!"

Well, he'd like it until his sugar crash. Or diabetes. Whichever came first.

"Can we sit down now?" he asked, "I want to sit next to you."

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[LILLIAN WILSON]

Maybe him picking his own food was a bad idea. Lilly chuckled, wishing he had a free hand she could hold. "Yeah. But maybe you should eat more vegetables and fruits. I can't snuggle you if you're sick." She leaned in, kissing his cheek. Of course she would still snuggle with him. He didn't need to know that though. Not unless he actually got sick.

"Unless that /is/ healthy for you. I don't know." Again, sugary blood. But now was dinner time. She wandered through the tables, finding one where they could sit together. For the first time she wasn't looking around and talking to everyone. She wasn't up in the rafters watching anything and everything that happened. She wasn't showing off with daring jumps or playing with the knifes.

Artus had her full attention. She sat down, starting her meal with a piece if fruit. "What would you like to talk about?" Unless food had his full attention. He did seem to have a feeding-frenzy mode.

[ARTISAN KIM]

“You can get sick from not eating fruits and vegetables? But why?” asked Artie. He'd never heard of that before! How awful...maybe he should have added two sprigs of broccoli instead of one. By the time Artie considered revisiting the broccoli bowl, Lilly had already found them seats. Nothing else mattered now; it was just him and all that delicious, mouth-watering food that tempted his nose.

Silverware clattered as Artie seized the edge of the table, like a drowning man would grab the edge of the boat, and plunged his face into the food-mountain on his plate. Of course, the tower of sweets toppled over as soon as his jaws snatched up the cookies that'd been precariously balancing at the peak. Heck, he barely swallowed as he cut through the pile of sweets on his plate. The meat came next; Artie had a blast shredding chunks of raw steak, growling and shaking his head while scraps of red meat were torn apart by his jaws. Claws formed at the tips of his fingers and helped him to dissect the tougher chunks of meat from his meal, or rather, make an even bigger mess than before.

By the time Lilly could lift that piece of fruit to her lips, Artie was down to the last food item on his plate: a chicken leg. He sniffed around the plate for a minute, as if expecting more cookies crumbs to erupt from the porcelain plate. His nose butted into the chicken leg and he was still for a moment, seeming to think about an intense matter – this was life or death. Serious business. “Needs salt,” he mumbled.

The disaster zone that'd become the tablecloth was nothing matched for Artie's face. When he looked up, his cheeks were caked with pie crumbs and whipped cream dotted his nose. He searched for the salt shaker and saw that it was being used by an oddity to the far left. But rather than ask for the salt, Artie hopped onto the dinner table – bare feet and all – and snatched up the salt shaker without a single word. On the way back, he managed to knock over a bowl of alphabet soup with his tail and somehow get the vowels stuck to the reddish-brown fur.

He hopped back into his seat with a satisfied grunt and doused the chicken leg in salt. The meat was devoured within seconds, leaving behind a squeaky-clean bone for Artie to chew on. He would've preferred something chewier like the hip bones of wild game, but a bone was a bone for him. “Huh? Did you say something Lilly?” he asked. His teeth sharpened into points and he growled playfully as he chewed onto the bone, oblivious to the utter mess he'd made at the dinner table. If he ate like a puppy, he was bound to make a mess like a puppy. And unfortunately...Lilly had been sitting right next to him. She'd probably gotten the brunt of the food-blizzard.

While the bone was still being gnawed on, Artie realized that his ear was itching like crazy. He was about to scratch it, like any normal person would, when he became concerned about the amount of pie crumbs latched onto his fingers. It took him a minute to think of a solution: ear, meet foot.

And that's how he fell off his chair at dinner, dragging the tablecloth down with him.

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