Circo Life

[LILLIAN WILSON]

So. I've been given this book. I'm supposed to write about whatever I want, and it's supposed to help me with my emotions. Which is silly. I don't see how this book is supposed to help me. I don't get attached to things.

I get attached to people, which is a problem. A very big problem apparently. Which I agree with of course. People are far too mean.

This is kinda silly, writing in this as if someone will read it. That's the way I'm supposed to do it, but still. If anyone read this thing, without my permission, they would die. Literally, they would die.

Okay. So, my name is Lillian Wilson. I've lived at the Circo for around a week or two now, and I love it. I've made lots of new friends and all sorts of stuff. I've even found something I'm good at, knife throwing. Right now it's at fake targets, but as I get better I plan on making my show a little more interesting.

Hopefully. Everyone here is really big on rules and stuff. Like, I'm supposed to be in bed right now. If I had a roommate, I'm sure the dorm monitor people would be yelling at me. But, thankfully, I'm alone for now. I don't really think I'll be able to share a room. I've never had to do it before.

Blah.

So yeah. I'll end this here. Goodnight little book.

[LILLIAN WILSON]

Thread List

Free Food
Hit or Miss
Heaven on Earth
Reward and Punishment (maybe)
Rumor Has It
ICC Ko Problems
First Annual Camping Trip

((Artie has permission from Nuri to write in Lillian's journal))

[LILLIAN WILSON]

Heaven On Earth

So. I met this boy. And just as that sentence always implies, drama followed.

His name is Artie, and he's kinda like a shapeshifter. I haven't seen him change into something completely yet, and maybe he can't, but still. What I have seen is pretty amazing.

He's a bit of a dork though. It's like someone took an alien, a child, and a puppy and mixed them all together to make him. He's so strange. He doesn't really know anything about being a human and it showed in everything he did. The boy /licked/ me. LICKED me. It was so weird. I really didn't mind it while I was with him, but now that I'm alone it's kinda gross. He's kinda gross.

But he's the sweetest thing ever. I got mad at him cause he got blood and food on me, yes I said blood, and he came to my room with flowers and was all adorable and everything. I planted all the flowers somewhere else but one. I found someone with a gift for plants and they made sure my flower wouldn't die. It's sitting on my desk in a make-shift pot now.

So...yeah. I skipped a whole bunch of the story, but I'm tired. He's really sweet and really gross and I really like him. We're gonna work on the gross thing, and soon he'll just be all sweet.

And he's mine.

Mine.

[LILLIAN WILSON]

Ko

Hey little book. Today wasn't a very good day.

I know I shouldn't be jealous. It was something stupid. I was on the chat, right? And that didn't even start well. Cyril was fighting with Carter and Artie and I was honestly scared for Artie. I thought Cyril was going to hurt him. Sure Carter was going to defend him, but...

I was scared. I was really and honestly scared. I know fights don't normally result in death, but I really really don't like the thought of losing Artie. I really like him, I really do. I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's so sweet, but he's quickly become my best friend. I just might even love him. I feel like I can do anything with him. I feel like I don't have to be anything with him.

And then it happened. Ko started posting things, things no decent guy would look at. And Artie? He was just eating it up.

I know what I told him. I'm not even sure I truly love the guy. I'm just a kid. I'm just a freak. I don't have the curves girls are supposed to, I don't feel the way girls are supposed to. He deserves someone better, someone who doesn't think the dark thoughts I do.

I'm not even sure I'll live to be twenty, never mind having a family and getting married and all of that.

It still hurt though. I /want/ to be the one for him. And it really hurt that he was looking at anyone else, even if it was kinda forced on him. How hard would it have been to turn the chat off?

He told me he wasn't going to look. He looked and he loved what he saw.

And I will never be that.

[ARTISAN KIM]

-“Dear Lilly,

My name was written on the paper, so I thought it was for me. I didn't mean to read your journal! I made sure to leave the book open like I found it and didn't read any other entries. I think the Ringmaster might have some fingerprint kits if you wanted to double-check, but I promise that I didn't look through your diary. I'd never read your things on purpose. I'm usually never even in your room unless you give me permission! But...

One of the oddities today was trying to teach me how to sew, although I'm not very good at it. I tried making you a teddy-bear too, but it kinda looks like a lump. I'll leave him/her by your window. I was going to give it to you at dinner, but I couldn't wait – I wanted to surprise you.

I'm really sorry I made you upset.

I like you the way you are.

Curves are pretty, but if you had them...you wouldn't be the same.

Besides, you've got a whole lot of other nice stuff. I think all your Lilly-ness makes you prettier than the pictures that Ko showed us.

I think your freckles are cute. One of my favorite things in the world is having you kiss my nose or running your fingers through my hair, even if it makes me fall asleep. And I think when the light hits your hair and its all golden-blonde and shimmery, you look like an angel. Holding your hand and falling asleep next to you doesn't make me feel so alone. I like it when we hug. I like how everything feels magical when we chase fireflies. I like how you'll hunt down Teddy for me, even if he seems like a stupid bear to everyone else. With you...I feel like I belong somewhere. I know that when you're around, I can go anywhere and be anybody I want to.

When I'm with you, I don't feel disposable.

I like you because you took the time to understand me.

I know that you wouldn't throw my aside like what happened back home at the facilities.

I like you just the way you are.

I love you so much, Lilly.


I'm not very hungry, so I don't think I'll be at dinner tonight. I'll be in my room if you need me.

Love, Artie

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